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Connor stills beside me, and Gavin shakes his head again. But this time his eyes are focused on me.
Coach’s expression hardens. “Don’t be cute,” he says. “You played one good game, and I need you to keep it up. So again. Whatever you did to prepare yourself for yesterday’s game, do it again. I expect another win in Dallas.”
I swallow. “Yes, Coach.”
He picks his notes back up. “You’re all dismissed.”
I’m the first to stand, eager to get away from him like a scolded puppy. I hate that I’ve been letting him down, letting the team down. Coach Matthews is great at his job. He’s one of the reasons why we’ve had the success that we’ve had. This season, with us looking to win the cup for the third time and cement ourselves as a dynasty in hockey, he’s under more pressure than I am. The last thing he needs is to deal with me being a smart ass, or worse, me continuing to struggle all season, sinking our ship before we even reach the shores of the playoffs.
Once we’re back in the players’ section of the plane, I avoid going back to the card table. I’m no longer in the mood to play around, so I grab a seat by myself towards the back of the plane.
Connor and Gavin follow. Which is fine. I guess. They are my friends. But right now, the friend I really want to talk to is Nikolai. He always knows what to say, and he knows how to quietly listen to me. And he’s the one who helped me last night.
But then again, neither of them have ever needed to do that for me.
“That wasn’t horrible,” Connor says, as he sits in the seat beside me.
Gavin remains standing in the aisle with one of his arms resting on the back of our seats, and his other resting on the seats in front of us. He’s stooping and supplying some cover for us from the rest of the team.
“It was pretty damn bad,” I say around the lump in my throat. I wipe my hands… again.
Jesus Christ. What is my problem?
“It would have been fine if you hadn’t picked the worst moment to run your mouth,” Gavin says.
Connor stares at him and says, “Not helping.” He sighs and turns his gaze back to me, though his hand moves to Gavin, where he brushes it up and down his side. Seeing him do this, I wonder what it would feel like to have Nikolai doing the same to me. Nice, I bet. Calming. Especially right now.
“You’re right,” Connor continues. “It wasn’t great. But Coach is correct. You played great last night! And…”
“Connor,” Gavin says in a soft warning tone.
“What?” Connor says to him. His hand stills. “You’re thinking the same thing I am.” He turns back to look at me. “You don’t have to tell us, but what happened between you and Nikolai the other night?”
“Nothing,” I say, staring into his eyes, which are intensely focused on me. “We just had dinner.”
One of his eyebrows rises like he doesn’t believe me.
“I swear!” I say, my voice louder than intended. I bring it back down. “What do you think happened?”
“Nothing,” Gavin says.
I look up at him, relieved. Gavin gets it. He gets me. We’ve been here since day one together. We’ve spent so much time with each other that I know him like the back of my own glove. That’s why I knew before he did that he was falling in love with Connor, even though he was trying as hard as he could not to. For me, it was obvious.
“But…” he says. “You did play one of your best games of the season last night. So how can we continue to get you to have more dinners with Ivanov where nothing happens?”
“Oh!” I say, excitement bubbling through me. “We already have plans. Did you know the Mules are going to be in New Jersey over Thanksgiving?”
“No,” Gavin says as Connor asks, “Do you know every team’s schedule?”
“Nope. Just ours and the Mules,” I say. “Gotta keep up with my brother, after all.”
“Right. Your brother,” Gavin says. This time he’s the one to look at Connor like I said something important.
Connor smiles as he bites his lip. “So you two will be spending Thanksgiving together.”
“Yep!” I say, then feeling guilty, I look back and forth between the two of them. “Did you guys want to come?”
“No, thank you,” Connor says at the same time Gavin says, “Fuck, no.”
