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“No. Really. What is going on?”
“It’s just…” Connor starts.
“That waitress was throwing herself at you and you quite literally didn’t even notice,” Gavin says.
“She was not.” I laugh. “She was taking my drink order.”
“And showing off her goods at the same time,” Tavish says. He takes a sip of his beer. “She’s no Kaylee, that’s for sure.”
“Speaking of, I need to call her,” I say. She sent me the cutest picture of Shutzie watching our game tonight with their golden retriever.
“Leave my wife to me,” Tavish says. “You need to focus on your own love life and ask this waitress out. She’s clearly into you and we’re still in New York for two more days.”
“Maybe,” I say as I look to find her in the crowd again. But when my eyes land on her walking back towards us carrying what I’m assuming is my drink, I don’t see what the big deal is. Sure, she’s cute. Petite, blonde hair pulled up into a bun with some loose pieces framing her face, but I’m not inspired to do anything more with her other than give her a big tip for dealing with us tonight.
“Can I ask you something?” Connor asks.
“Of course,” I say, giving him my full attention. “Ask away. I’m an open book.”
“Not that open,” Gavin says under his breath.
Connor elbows him in the ribs, but keeps his gaze on me. “When was the last time you had a girlfriend?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug and try to think back over the years as our server hands me my drink. This time, now that they have brought it to my attention, I do notice the way her gaze lingers on me as I take the glass. It does nothing for me. Not even a stirring of temptation. I look back at Connor. “What constitutes a girlfriend?”
“Did he just say constitutes?” Tavish asks.
“He’s been hanging out with Connor,” Gavin says. “A fancy vocabulary comes with the territory.”
“Again,” Connor says, turning his attention to Gavin, “most of us have evolved past grunts and groans as a method of communication.” He focuses on me again. “I’ll rephrase my question. Have you ever been in a serious relationship with a woman?”
“Not really, no.” Finally I get a chance to sip my new drink. It’s perfect. The liquid itself is chilled but the way it heats my body as it goes down satisfies my craving for something more interesting than beer tonight.
“What about a situationship?” Connor asks.
“Like a friend with benefits sort of thing?”
“Sure,” Connor says. He sips his drink.
“I’ve never really had time for one of those either,” I say. I look around at everyone at our table. “You all know what it’s like.”
“Not me,” Tavish says. “Kaylee and I met in high school.”
“Me neither,” Gavin says. “But that’s because I never cared to until Connor.” He pulls Connor closer to him, practically placing Connor onto his lap. That big softy isn’t fooling any of us anymore when he behaves like this with Connor every chance he gets.
“And I was never allowed,” Connor says, a tinge of sadness in his eyes that goes away as he lets himself get cuddled by Gavin in this dimly lit bar. He keeps his attention on me, though, and continues his questioning. “Is that something you’d like?”
“A girlfriend?” I ask. I thought I did. My mother even suggested it over the summer. But if I’m being honest, I’ve done nothing to make that a possibility, and I feel no desire to now. Not even when there’s someone who apparently is interested in me fluttering around this bar making sure my teammates have everything they need.
“A relationship,” Connor says gently.
A yearning pulls at my chest when he says it. Because, yes, I would like a relationship. That is what I’ve been craving ever since Connor and Gavin got together, and then my brother and Ryan. Even Tavish’s wedding had me feeling like I was missing something, despite the fact that, like he said, he and Kaylee have been together for longer than I have known them.
All my friends, and my brother, are all so happy and settled now. I want what they have. But asking me if I want it with our waitress, a woman whose name I already forgot if she even told us, well, the answer is no.
I swallow and nod at him. But if I close my eyes and try to imagine what that would look like, all I see is… Nikolai.
Just thinking of him has me flushing all over like I’ve chugged my drink instead of slowly sipping on it. What is it about Nikolai that has me feeling this way? And more interestingly, why do I enjoy it so much?
