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My throat has gone dry.

He holds his hand out and beckons me to him. “Come here.”

I take a tentative step forward. That’s all it takes to bring me close enough to him that he can reach and brush my hand away from my neck. He takes over the action of rubbing my neck for me. His hand feels warm against my skin and his fingers are strong as they squeeze and knead my tense muscles.

With no place else to look but at him, I watch as he wets his lips with his pink tongue. Then, feeling heat course through me, I look away, glancing down his body. He’s wearing an expensive looking black cashmere sweater and dark gray slacks that have been ironed with a perfect crease. When I look back up at his eyes, he’s staring at me with so much warmth I don’t know what to do with it. I want to look away, but I can’t. He has me locked in.

“Come here,” he says again. His tone is soft and smooth, but the way my body steps right to him, it feels like a command.

His hand on my neck guides me closer, bringing us chest to chest. My heart starts to race, and I feel myself begin to sweat harder. I’m torn. The me that existed before Nikolai implanted himself into my life would run screaming from him at this moment. But the me now, the me I have become over these last few months, wants nothing more than for this man to claim me. To pull me even closer and bring our mouths together.

I can feel my heart pounding. I can feel my lungs struggling to bring in air. And that’s when I remember. I’m still the same me I have always been. Nothing has changed just because I’m attracted to another man. Nothing is different. I can still be that impulsive, carefree, risk-taker I used to know so well. That has always made me a great goalie. That has gotten me everywhere I’ve ever wanted to be in life.

“Fuck it,” I say, then grab him by the collar of his cashmere sweater and press my lips against his.

NINETEEN

Nikolai

How can something be both unexpected and completely predictable at the same time? Because that’s what this is. Ander pressing his lips against mine is simultaneously the most surprising thing and also everything I have needed all at once.

With my hand still cupping the back of his neck, I pull him closer. Then, I place my other hand onto his low back to press our hips together. The crush of his hard body against mine is glorious, and not just because it brings some much-needed pressure against my already hard cock. It sprang to attention the second his lips touched mine in a heated, needy kiss.

He groans into my mouth as his hands grab me by my sides. His fingers grip me with force.

In a need to get closer I wedge my knee between his legs. I can feel his erection press against my thigh. The moan that comes out of him is music to my ears.

It also spurs on his own excitement apparently. Using his full body weight, he pushes me hard against the door. It rattles loudly against the frame, causing Shutzie to bark from his bed.

“Ander.” Brandon’s voice comes from the other side of the door.

Ander and I break apart. The only sound coming from the two of us is our labored breaths.

“You’d better not be beating up my goalie in there,” Brandon says.

“He’s not,” Ryan says. The sound of their footsteps walking away down the hall towards the small bathroom follows them.

Ander grins and rests his forehead against mine. We remain still as we both regain our composure and our breath.

He closes his eyes and I feel him inhale deeply. His exhale is long, slow, and slightly shaky. When he’s expelled all his breath, he reopens his eyes. Our foreheads are still pressed together. “That was…”

“Incredible,” I say, wetting my lips.

“I was going to say, much needed.” He laughs quietly. Both of us are now conscious of keeping things quiet in here, no matter how heated they get. “But yes. Incredible is better.”

He kisses me again, this time without the urgency. It’s slower, but still just as needy. But whereas before his kiss felt frantic, like a man shoveling food into his mouth, starving after a game sent to overtime, now it is that of a man who is craving connection.

Interesting. I don’t know what changed in him, but it’s as if Ander has rediscovered his confidence. His kiss is self-assured. The way one of his hands explores my chest and his other grabs my ass is assertive. He’s taking control the same way he does in a game, stoic in his crease.

But I’m not one to be passive, or outdone. I grab onto both sides of his hips and push him toward the bed. He comes willingly for the three backwards steps it takes for me to get him where I want him.

He collapses down onto the too-small mattress. The bed creaks when I lay myself on top of him and continue our kissing.

“Maybe we should do this on the air mattress,” he says with a smile on his lips.

“And risk popping it? I do not think so.” I nudge his legs apart again with my knee to slot myself better on top of him. It brings our erections side by side together with too many layers of clothes between them.

“Fuck, that feels good,” he says. He rocks his hips underneath mine.