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I laugh softly. “No. I think I⁠—”

My words are cut off when the door opens, and I feel Rune immediately shift down to lie flat on his back. I don’t move. There’s only a little bit of light coming in through the hall, and it doesn’t hit the bunk I’m on.

“Easty?” It’s Camilo. “You in here?”

“Mm,” I say, trying to sound like I was asleep. “You need me? We get a call?”

“No. Shit, I didn’t mean to wake you. I just saw Rune’s car outside, but I can’t find him. Thought he might be in here with you.”

“Oh, uh…” I shift myself over more on top of Rune, hoping Camilo won’t come in further. “No, sorry. I was out.”

“Okay. I’ll let you get back to sleep.” He steps out and shuts the door, and I have to immediately bury my face in my pillow to stop my hysterical, nervous laughter.

“Shut the fuck up,” Rune hisses. “That was not funny!”

“I know,” I gasp in a half whisper. “I know. I laugh when I’m nervous.”

“You are a disaster,” he grunts.

I lift my head up, and though I still can’t see him in the dark, I try and glare anyway. “You liked it enough to fuck me.”

“Yeah.” He doesn’t argue, which says something. I think. “Anyway, uh…I should go. I need to think of something to tell Cam.”

“Tell him you were looking at the baby ducks sleeping,” I say. I try not to feel an ache in my chest when he sits up and shuffles off the bed, but I can’t help it. I know he can’t stay. He has a son, and it’s not like we can tell people we did this.

And now I feel a bit like his dirty little secret.

“Easton,” he says quietly.

“I won’t say anything.”

He sighs. “That wasn’t what…never mind. You know it’s better that we don’t, right?”

“Yes,” I tell him. Because I do. My logical brain is still mostly online.

I hear him shuffle back into his clothes, then the telltale snap of his hair tie as he resets himself. And then the bed shakes as he sits, and his wandering hands find my chin again.

The kiss he gives me is wildly unexpected but so fucking needed. It’s chaste—just a press of lips against my own—but he lets it linger.

“I need you to know it’s not about shame. I just…I can’t deal with one more thing that everyone knows about me. Especially while I’m waiting to end this shit with Neal.”

“I get it,” I tell him. And this time, I fully mean it. “I don’t mind keeping this quiet.”

He huffs and then walks over to the table and turns on the light. It’s not bright enough to hurt, but it’s strange to look at him now after what we just did. He looks the same, which means I must look the same too. But I feel completely changed.

Our eyes meet, and he holds my gaze for a long time.

“Do you…would you want to,” I start, but I don’t know how to finish, and I don’t get the chance to try.

“I should go. Elio’s expecting me,” he says, cutting me off.

It’s more polite than the fuck no he’d probably give me if I’d been allowed to ask my question. But it hurts the same. I wince. I can’t help it. Then I turn away.

“Easton,” he says quietly.

I shoot him a thumbs-up. I don’t trust myself to talk right now.

I hear footsteps, so he’s obviously leaving, but then suddenly, there’s a touch against the center of my back. I can’t help but look over my shoulder, and I find him crouched down next to me.