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My eyes fill with tears. Fuck me. I’m so sick of fucking crying.

“I wasn’t going anywhere without a fight.”

“That’s what you are,” Jerry says firmly. “A fighter.”

“Thanks.” I wipe beneath my eyes, even though he can’t see me falling apart. “Can we not talk about Ben for, like, a really long time now?”

“How does forever sound?” Jerry asks with a quiet laugh.

“Perfect.”

His tone softens. “You know you don’t have to carry this shit by yourself anymore, right?”

I swallow past the lump in my throat. “Yeah.”

“Good, because you’ve got people now, kid. Let us be there.”

I rub at my eyes again, trying to pull myself together. “When are you coming to visit?”

“You tell me and I’ll be there.”

“Christmas?” I ask. “I know it’s only around the corner, but I’d really love to spend it with you.”

“I’ll be there, kid.”

“Good.” I smile through my tears. “I’ll call you soon. And Jerry?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. For everything.”

“Don’t get all sappy on me now, Blair.”

“Fuck you,” I say, laughing.

“There she is.”

I end the call just as Dean comes back into the bedroom carrying my coffee.

“Everything okay?” he asks, placing it carefully on the bedside table.

“Yeah.” I wipe the last of my tears away. “Jerry’s coming for Christmas.”

Dean smiles. “Good. Pen will love that.”

So will I.

For the first time in my life, I have people I can depend on. People who don’t make me feel weak for needing them.

And it feels pretty fucking amazing.

* * *

Dean and I lie in bed, drinking coffee and finishing possibly the best pancakes I’ve ever had, when he sends a text to his mom.

“We’ll go get Pen in about an hour,” he tells me, putting his phone down before absent-mindedly playing with my hair.

I still beneath his hand.