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I’d spent months, years even, trying to figure out how to make a man want me. And somehow, the one man I hoped would eventually look my way had just made it crystal clear that I wasn’t on his radar and never would be.
7
RAVAGE
I’d finally done it.
I’d lost my ever-loving, goddamn mind.
Maybe it was the years of dodging bullets and taking punches, or maybe it was all the sleepless nights. But I was headed for disaster, and I wasn’t doing anything to stop it. Instead, I headed straight for it. I knew it the second I walked into Emery’s apartment.
Not because I was there to discuss teaching her about sex. Hell, that was a fucking mistake all on its own. But the look on her face when I told her ‘we could never be anything more than we already were’ should’ve had me doing an about-face right then and there.
I’d expected relief, maybe even embarrassment, but I hadn’t expected the hurt. It flashed across her face so fast she probably thought I’d missed it. I didn’t. When it came to her, I never missed anything, and I carried that damn look with me all the way home.
I hated it, but there was no way I could tell her the truth. Not when it would either send her running or make her think I could give her something I couldn’t. Like it or not, she could never know how much I wanted her, that it took all I had not to pull her close and kiss her the second we stepped into my room. I wanted her in my arms and in my bed, but that wasn’t happening.
Not like that.
Not when she’d been drinking like a damn fish. She looked flustered and seemed desperate to prove she was in full control when she was anything but. There was no way in hell I was going to take advantage of that, and I wasn’t going to let anyone else, either.
But she was determined, and I had a feeling she wasn’t going to let this whole having sex-with-a-brother thing go. That shit wasn’t going to happen, so I offered to do it myself.
When I was at her place, I tried to keep it simple and stick to the facts. But then, she had to start in with the questions. “When will these lessons start?”
“Friday night.”
“Oh.” Her eyes widened. “That’s soon.”
“The sooner we start, the sooner we finish.”
“True.” She paused for a breath, then asked, “Where will we do them?”
“Good question.” Nobody could know about this, and I mean nobody. Which left only one option. “We’ll need to do them here. Are you good with that?”
“Yeah, that should be fine.”
“This needs to stay between you and me, Em. No one can know about this.”
“You don’t have to worry about that,” she scoffed. “I’m not telling anyone about this.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.”
She stared at me for a long moment, then grimaced. “Okay. So, I guess we’re really doing this.”
“I’ll see you Friday night.” As I started for the door, I told her, “Put on something sexy.”
“How sexy?”
“The sexier the better… I’ll be here at ten.”
“At ten?” She grimaced. “Why so late?”
I stopped and gave her a look. That’s all it took. She rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine. I’ll see you at ten.”
I’d just started down the steps when I heard, “Thanks for the ice cream.”
“Get some rest.”
