Page 81

‘Yeah! I thought dad was coming here alone and you were going to Nashville!’

‘I wanted to see you, honey. Thinking of you got me past the worst of it, Raff, and I’m so happy to be with you now.’

Hell, what I went through made me want to glue myself to his side forever.

I glanced up, locking eyes with Deacon over Raff’s damp head.

A fierce, desperate craving hit my chest, a desire for our unit of three to stay like this forever.

But wishes like those were emotional time bombs, waiting to go off.

I tucked the yearning deep into my heart, out of sight, and ruffled my son’s drenched curls.

‘I can’t believe it,’ Raff muttered, still in shock.

‘You’d better. I’m here, kiddo,’ I murmured. ‘You’re going to help me get well, and we get to hang out for the next few weeks.’

Raff beamed and nodded hard, throwing water droplets all over me.

‘Awesome!

DEACON

Leaning on the dining room table in Mijas, I studied Raff and Ana reconcile, and soon found myself lost in thought, in memories from the past.

After Ana and I ended our marriage, I almost lost my mind.

I spent weeks in a depressive funk, drinking my grief and fury, not eating or leaving my house.

I raged on until Jude and Angel sat me down one evening in my kitchen, three months after our divorce.

Raff, only six then, was sleeping upstairs while my brothers read me the riot act.

‘For your kid’s sake, you need to get your shit together. To move on, for him.’

‘It’s freakin’ hard.’

Angel nodded. ‘It will get better. It’s a process, and you will go through phases. Where you are now is the worst; you’re only now beginning to grieve the end of the relationship.’

His word was bond, given he’d gone through several breakups with his ex, Evangeline, at the time.

‘What should I focus on?’ I muttered.

‘Therapy. Friends. Family. Your music. Whatever it takes, to allow your heart and mind to recover. With time, space, and working on what went bad, you will begin to feel like yourself soon enough. The question is, are you willing to do the work?’

I mulled Angel’s words and decided to take a chance on his advice.

I did the heavy work to heal: committing to individual counseling, learning where I went wrong, and owning my shit.

When Ana announced her marriage to Massimo, I fought my pain, waging a brutal inner war against the jealousy.

I kept busy with raising Raff, managing Six Sinners, and throwing myself into my music.

I tried meeting new people, but between my relentless band and gig schedule and a major lack of interest in the opposite sex, dating petered out.

When not on tour, Raff and I traveled to new cities and places to experience their culture.

We visited the historic temples in Kyoto, ate the best prawn dumplings in Hong Kong, went on a safari in Kenya, and saw The Lion King musical in Sydney.