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The weight of him.

The warmth.

The almost unbearable intimacy.

Somehow, I end up lying on the bed. He pulls off my panties, leaving them intact this time, and then simply stares at me.

“God, you’re fucking beautiful,” he says.

I gulp.

Then he removes his jacket. Loosens his tie.

I gulp again, louder this time, as he continues to undress until he’s standing only in forest-green boxer briefs, his bulge beneath them apparent. He slides the underwear over his hips, and his cock springs out.

I gawk. I can’t help myself. It’s the first time I’ve actually been able to look at him, see what took my virginity from me.

He’s huge, long, and straight, with two veins marbling over him.

He moves, hovers over me for a moment, and slides his tongue over my lips.

“What I wouldn’t give to take my time with you,” he says. “But time is a luxury I don’t have.”

He slides into me, gentler this time than the other two, but it’s no less invasive.

I gasp at the intrusion, though pain no longer accompanies it.

He pulls out and thrusts back in again.

I close my eyes.

“No,” he says. “Open those eyes. Watch me. Watch me fuck you. I want you to see.”

His voice is commanding, and I obey on instinct, shooting my eyes open.

He’s looking at me, his green eyes smoky with desire, his cock embedded inside me. I tentatively reach forward, touch his broad shoulders.

“God, yes,” he says. “Touch me, Ella. Please.”

So I do. I glide my fingertips over his shoulders, up his neck, to his stubbled jawline. Then back down again, over his upper arms, tracing the cords of his muscles. He’s warm and hard beneath my touch.

And as I caress him, he breathes harder, faster. Pumps harder, faster.

Until I catch myself on a cloud as a climax more intense than ever flies through me.

It starts in my pussy, around his cock, and then it shatters outward like a million rocket ships catapulting through me.

And not once do I close my eyes.

Not once do I stray from his green-eyed gaze.

I look at him. See him. Feel him.

Emotion so intense coils through me, around me, in me.

Is it love?

No. Of course not. He could never love me back.