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Almost.

She turns away from me and dresses. The silver slides back over her body, hiding the evidence of what I took from her. She adjusts the straps and then turns her back to me. “Please,” she says. “The zipper.”

I zip the dress. She turns and smooths down the front, looks at me, her eyes wide.

I say nothing.

She leaves.

21

ELLA

In the corridor, I head for the ladies’ room. I’m sure my makeup and hair are a fright.

So that was sex.

The thought lands so quickly that I almost laugh.

Not because it’s funny.

I’ve spent years wondering, imagining, fearing, dismissing, pretending it didn’t matter that I hadn’t yet done what other women my age seemed to talk about all the time. I told myself I was waiting because I wanted to. Then I told myself I wasn’t waiting at all, that I just hadn’t met the right person.

And now it’s done.

Not in a bed.

Not with slow promises or a man looking into my eyes afterward and telling me I’m beautiful.

In an empty office across from a ballroom while I’m supposed to be someone else’s date.

With Nathaniel Vexley.

My first time.

I press my fingers to my mouth.

It was wonderful.

That’s the issue.

It was wonderful, and I don’t know what to do with that.

His mouth on mine. His hands. The heat of him. The way everything inside me seemed to gather to know what to do, that he was who I’d been waiting for.

It hurt too.

More than a little at first.

Enough to make me hold my breath.

I get to the restroom and look in the mirror.

Not too bad, all things considered. My lipstick is gone, of course, but that could have happened while I was eating. My lips are swollen from the punishing kisses, but otherwise, I look okay. My hair came out reasonably unscathed.

I touch my lips. They’re still tingling. And I’m sore between my legs. But it’s a good sore.

I grab a sanitary napkin from the dispenser on the wall and then go into a stall and wipe between my legs. Yes, there’s blood. I clean it up the best I can with toilet paper. My panties have a huge rip in them, but I can still put them on. I put on the sanitary napkin and leave the stall.