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“Ease up. Give her space to breathe,” Ash said, coming over with a smile. “Don’t mind him. Zeke’s like a puppy, always crashing into things in his excitement to see you, but doesn’t understand why you’re mad at the messes he makes.”

“What? I am not.”

“With her and Cyn? Yeah, you absolutely are.”

Zeke’s gaze darted back and forth between Cyn and me.

Cyn shrugged. “You are kinda like a puppy.”

I lifted my hand and ran my fingers over the soft strands on top of Zeke’s head. I’d always suspected his hair was soft. “Good boy,” I teased.

He froze, his hands falling to his sides as he stared at me with wide eyes.

Ezra’s icy eyes locked on me, drawing my attention to him. “What did you mean, not since your parents died?”

I sighed, crossing the living room to the kitchen.

After everything they did for me in the parking garage and after, I could give them this. If anyone would understand what I saw thirteen years ago, it’d be them.

“When I was ten, infernals attacked my home.” I grabbed cranberry juice from the refrigerator and vodka from the freezer, setting both on the counter. “They looked human, but I knew better. Mom did too.” I pulled a mason jar from the cabinet and set it down.

Zeke crossed the living room and took a seat on a stool beside Cyn. “What do you mean?”

“Their faces weren’t natural. Like the others I’d seen possessed by infernals, their features were twisted.” I mixed my drink. If I had to talk about this, I needed more than a soda. “They had claws, though.”

“I thought you said the humans you’ve seen partially transform,” Cyn said.

“It was the first time I’d seen more than their faces change. I’d either seen infernals in full ‘demonic form’ or humans with only their faces warped.”

Ash leaned against the counter, arms crossed. “What happened?”

I took a sip, then added a little extra juice. “My dad couldn’t tell they weren’t human at first, so he tried to fight them.” I set the glass down, braced my hands on the counter, and stared at the ceiling. “They gutted him.” I swallowed when my voice broke. “Like, his insides spilled out on the dining room floor.”

Cyn cursed, and Ash reached for me, but I held up a hand. I didn’t want to be coddled. I’d never finish if I let someone hold me. After thirteen years, I finally had someone I could tell the truth to.

Grandma said I told her, but I didn’t remember. Carrying the memories with me all these years wasn’t easy. I’d spent my whole life rejecting them. Now, I didn’t trust myself not to fall apart if I accepted comfort before telling them the worst parts.

Ezra’s low voice caught my attention. “What did you do?”

I looked at him at the far end of the counter where he sat.

“Mom took my hand, and we ran out the sliding glass doors to the backyard. She led me to the utility shed and told me to use the hatch inside to hide in the crawlspace under the house. Told me not to come out, no matter what I heard.” I clutched my pendant through my shirt, closing my eyes. She’d given me the necklace before shutting the shed door. I took a shaky breath, opening my eyes to meet Ezra’s intense stare. “I shouldn’t have looked.”

Zeke’s voice sounded scratchy when he asked, “Why?”

“I didn’t go straight into hiding. I wanted to make sure Mom was okay.” I took a large swallow of my mixed drink. “I was a stupid child.” I shook my head. “They came outside and saw Mom. I heard one of them talking to her, but I couldn’t make out everything they said. I didn’t understand any of it. They wanted to know where I was hiding.”

Cyn and Ezra shared a look.

“They kept saying things in a language I didn’t understand. When Mom refused to give up where I hid, they did more than kill her.”

Ash’s hand tightened into a fist on the counter, and I could tell he was restraining himself. His voice dropped to a rumble. “What happened?”

“They raped her. Back then, I didn’t understand what was happening. I only knew that whatever they were doing hurt Mom, and I wanted to help her.” I took a gulp of my mixed drink. “I opened the door. Her hysterical cries when she saw me were enough to make me rush back inside. She didn’t want me to come closer.”

“There’s nothing you could have done. You were a child,” Cyn said, his typical scowl now lowered in fury.

“I know that now. But back then, I didn’t know what was happening. I just didn’t want what happened to Dad to happen to her.” Licking my lips again, I lifted my glass, only to have Ash take it from me. I fixed my glare on him as I spat the next words. “They cut flesh from her body after the five assholes finished using her. And then… they fed on her.”