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His hand skims my stomach over the thin material of my sundress. Winding his hands around my back, he pulls my body against his.

This is what I’m supposed to be doing, isn’t it? I can’t live my whole life daydreaming about a forty-year-old who has seen so much more life than I have. I can’t keep living in Alexander Caldwell’s fantasy.

"You okay?" he whispers.

I nod.

But it’s a lie. I’m not okay with anything anymore. Feeling so much desire for someone I can’t have and will probably never have. It’s created a version of myself I don’t recognize. A girl crawling out of her own skin.

Suddenly his hands are exploring my body, clumsily cupping my breasts through my dress and swimsuit, squeezing and kneading them in a way that I'm sure he thinks feels good.

And maybe I should feel wrong for being with someone my sister has, but I don’t. I find some strange sense of comfort in that. Like this is who I should be wanting. Girls my age want guys like Liam.

The kissing is nice, and I can't say I'm all that surprised he's a good kisser. I expected him to be. But when I open my eyes and see Liam's boyish face, I'm a little bit disappointed, so I close them again and imagine it's Alexander's lips touching mine.

"Let's go to your bedroom," he whispers as his hands glide down my body toward the hem of my dress, pulling it up with his soft touch.

When I turn toward Cadence and Fischer, I notice they're already gone.

"They went to Cadence's room," he mumbles against my neck. The kiss there sends chills down my spine, and I move without thinking. Standing up, I follow Liam down the hall toward my bedroom. Once we reach the doorway, I stop. The light is on and the window is wide open.

My breath is caught in my chest. What if Alexander is watching? What if he can see Liam standing in my bedroom?

Before I can think about it another moment, Liam is kissing me again. He moans lightly against my lips as he pulls the hem of my dress up, rounding the curve of my ass with his fingers.

"Let me know when I should stop," he says, and I smile against his mouth.

Everything he’s doing is nice. Just nice. It’s not fireworks like it was with Alex, and maybe that’s why I’m letting Liam touch me at all. Because at least then I’ll have something to compare Alex to. Then, I’ll know it’s not all in my head.

But this is Liam. Not Alexander. And if it wasn't for that kiss today, I would rule out any possibility of Alex and me, and I would let Liam take me to bed without another thought. I'm ready to let go of my virginity. The overwhelming fixation on my innocence is suffocating. It feels as if I'm standing on one side of this door, ready to walk through and live my life, explore what is out there waiting for me, but also knowing that once I walk through, I can never walk back.

Liam presses my hips against his with a groan, and I feel the thick hardness there, grinding against my stomach. I'm suddenly desperate to touch it, see it, feel it against my skin, but I don't move toward his zipper. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but I feel so fucking inadequate at this moment.

Liam's fingers move toward my bikini bottoms, dragging his finger along the lining toward the center. Chills erupt in my belly.

I'm overwhelmed, and I want this to feel good, but I'm too lost in my head about what I should or shouldn't be doing that I can't focus on the way his hand feels cupping me over my bikini bottoms, grinding the palm of his hand over my most sensitive part.

This is for the best, I lie to myself. I like Liam and I trust him, and Alexander wants nothing to do with an inexperienced virgin in bed who won't touch him or move because she has no fucking idea what to do. I would be mortified if this was how I felt with him.

"Can I take these off?" he whispers with his face in my neck and his fingers tugging on the fabric between him and my sex.

"No," a deep voice barks from nearby.

Liam and I both flinch and turn toward the doorway. There in his gray sweats and white T-shirt, looking stern and angry as hell, is Alexander fucking Caldwell. I feel my heart pick up speed as his eyes travel down our bodies toward Liam's obvious erection and the center of my body where I can still feel Liam's touch vibrating like my body is just now reacting to the contact.

"I think it's time for Liam to go home," Alex says without any emotion on his face.

Sweet, innocent Liam doesn't even consider putting up a fight. With a sheepish look on his face, he bolts out of the room without another word.

“What are you doing?” I say, watching Liam run from my room like he expected a beating if he stayed another second.

“Saving you from giving away your first time to a guy who doesn’t know the first thing about making you feel good.”

A rush of heat floods my cheeks as I stare at him. Alexander peeks down the hallway, seeing that it’s dark and mostly quiet except for the subtle movement and low moans coming from Cadence’s room. Then, he closes my bedroom door, shutting us in together. My heart begins to beat itself out of my chest. This can’t be happening.

“You don’t have any say in who I sleep with. You’re not my…”

“Not your what?” he cuts me off, stepping up to me, his body flush with mine. The backs of my legs hit the bed, and if he inches any closer, I’ll be forced onto it.