Page 284
“No.” She can barely force the word through her crying. “I never wanted—”
“Fuck you, Charm. Nothing will ever make the score even because I never wanted you to suffer enough to match me.”
She reaches for me, but I knock her hand away before she can touch my shirt.
“I’m so sorry,” she repeats. “Ryan, please, I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Save it.”
The words come out quieter than the shouting, though every ounce of rage remains inside them.
“I gave you exactly what you’ve pushed and begged for since I walked into this castle. You wanted the gory details of what happened after I left, and now you have enough of them to keep you company.”
Her lips tremble while another apology gathers behind them.
“Sleep with it tonight,” I tell her. “Cuddle up to your fucking guilt and let it hold you when the truth gets too heavy. Don’t come to me asking for comfort, forgiveness, or reassurance that you aren’t a terrible person. I will not unburden you from something you demanded I place in your hands.”
“I don’t expect you to.”
“You always expect me to!” My voice rises again as I point directly at her. “That is what you still don’t fucking see. You hurt me, panic when you have to witness the damage, and reach for me to make your feelings survivable. Even your guilt becomes something I am expected to carry.”
“You are selfish as fuck, Charm, and no amount of ‘I love yous’ can change that.”
The accusation lands differently than everything I shouted before it. Charm’s next sob catches somewhere inside her chest, and her crying quiets until only uneven breaths move through the room. One hand remains pressed against her stomach while the other hangs uselessly at her side.
Music from the celebration below reaches us through the floor, softened by stone and distance. Someone laughs beneath the windows. Glasses strike together, and the ordinary sounds continue while Charm stares at me as though the room has shifted beneath her feet.
Her mouth opens, but whatever defense rises never becomes words. She looks down at the space between us before forcing her swollen eyes back to mine. This time, I don’t order her to keep them there. I let the silence hold her inside what I said without stepping forward to make it easier.
The rage inside me hasn’t disappeared. It has settled into something colder, exhausted enough to stop shouting and sharp enough to wait while she finally feels the weight I have carried alone.
“Ryan, please,” she whispers.
“No.” The word is so final.
“You keep trying to make me decide whether I’m staying before I’ve had enough time to understand what staying would require. You gave me four fucking days and started pushing for a life-altering answer before we made it through the first one.”
She tries to reach for me but I step back. “You offered me the weekend.”
“I offered you the truth of what we could’ve been. You turned every touch, kiss, and moment into another reason I should take you back.”
“I told you I was going to fight for you.”
“And I told you I needed time!”
Tears slide over her cheeks. “I thought I was giving you proof.”
“You were giving me proof wrapped in beautiful fucking paper. You pressure me constantly.”
“That isn’t fair.”
“Neither is standing here while you question whether I used you because I fucked another woman when you weren’t mine.”
Charm’s expression changes and I see the fire in her eyes. “Maybe you did use me.”
Something inside me becomes quiet. She hears the words after they leave her. Regret reaches her face immediately, but she doesn’t take them back, she fucking doubles down on it.
“You came here wanting closure,” she says. “You wanted to know what we would’ve been, so you fucked me for four days, let me believe I was reaching you, and kept warning me that none of it meant anything. Maybe you were never going to choose me. Maybe I wasted my time because this weekend was always about you getting what you needed before leaving again.”
