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She stormed away.
Helen was more cool-headed and probably less affected in general. She managed a stilted congratulations before she left in what wasn’t quite a storm but more of a very contained raincloud.
Dom gave a signal and no one else approached us, the line to pay homage to him halted for the moment, and we had a bit of privacy at last.
“That went better than I was expecting,” Dom said quietly, stroking a hand over my hair.
“How did you think it would go?”
“More violently. Thank you, by the way, for handling it well. She was provoking you, and you didn’t rise to the bait.”
“I can’t believe you fucked her, of all people.” It just sort of slipped out.
Like any violent urge, it showed itself in due time.
My restraint had its limits, and while it had been exercised when dealing with Siobhan, Dom was apparently going to get the sharp end of it.
“You heard about that,” he said like we were talking about Sunday brunch.
“Of course I did.”
“It was a mistake,” he said, giving me an unfriendly look like it was all my fault. I was always willing to take responsibility for my fuck-ups, but this? Not fucking likely.
“You think?” I asked unpleasantly.
“Would you like me to explain myself to you? Would that help or hurt you getting over it?”
I was grinding my teeth. I suddenly wanted to deck him so bad. “As though you’re so good at getting over things yourself?”
“You can take exception to my wording or you can answer the question. I’ll leave it to you how you’d like to play this.
It was a surprisingly raw wound, but I’d always rather know than stay in the dark. “Go ahead, then. Explain yourself, if you can.”
“You asked for it. I did it to hurt you. That’s the simple truth of it.”
“Good job, then. It hurt. It still hurts.”
“Her more than the others, huh?”
“Yes, that one hurt more than the others.”
“It’s not pretty, but that was whole point. I was still being heavily sedated, with spells and drugs, it was not long after I butchered Declan and his lieutenants, and about the fifth time she slipped into my bed, I didn’t turn her down. I was still in enough denial that I thought something so blasphemous would bring you back even if only out of pure wrath. It was once, I barely remember it, but she took it too seriously, and I regretted it as soon as I was in my right mind. If it’s any consolation, I think it hurt her more than it hurt you.”
“It’s not,” I said. “And you don’t get to decide who was hurt more. You can’t imagine how it felt for me.”
“Can’t I?”
Touché. I took a few deep breaths, trying to be calm and mature when I wanted to punch him and rip her hair out. “And yet you’re the only one of us that truly betrayed our oath to each other. I was never actually unfaithful to you while you fucked your way through half of North America.”
It was such a mean, low blow that I instantly regretted it.
Sometimes my vicious tongue had a mind of its own.
He was stone-faced, jaw clenched, looking straight ahead as he tried to absorb the blow.
“I’m sorry,” I said quickly, touching his cheek. “That was unfair. I just lost my temper.”
He grabbed my other hand and pressed it firmly over his pounding heart, eyes still aimed sightlessly forward.
