Page 48

I counted. “Almost two years, I think.” It could have been true. I honestly couldn’t remember. “We hooked up occasionally after the breakup, yes, but it was nothing.”

She started crying again without making a sound, and it broke my heart.

“You’re still in love with her,” she finally gasped out.

I wasn’t expecting it so it took me too long to respond, and she started fighting me again.

“I’m not! Not even a little bit. I’m not sure I ever was.”

She went still. “You still have feelings for her though,” she said.

“Friend feelings. I swear.”

“But you kept sleeping with her for years after you broke up?”

She was such an earnest, innocent young thing that it was hard to explain to her how casual of an act sex could become even to someone you used to care for. I didn’t want to explain it to her, couldn’t do it, in fact. I didn’t want to ruin that part of her innocence. I wanted to keep it intact forever. The act of love was sacred to her, and with her it was for me too, but I didn’t know if she’d believe that if she were to tally up the casualness of my past experiences.

“It was nothing,” I finally said. “And I never felt for her the way I feel about you. Not even close. Okay?”

“You promise?” she asked, her voice small and tremulous, but hopeful.

“I promise. And I’ll tell her I’m seeing someone. I intended to all along, it just hadn’t come up before then. I’ll even tell her it’s you if that’s what you want.”

“I don’t want that. I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

“Telling her won’t get me in trouble. You’re legally an adult, and it’s not like she works for the school district. It’ll just make her mad, and she’ll probably try to rescue you from me, to be honest. She’s a very good person. I really think you two will like each other once all this settles.”

She shook her head furiously back and forth, looking adorable and grumpy. “No. Don’t tell her about us. Just tell her you’re seeing someone, but not me. I don’t want you to mess up your friendship.”

“Whatever you want,” I told her, kissing her nose.

I carried her to the bed and tucked her in. “What are your plans today?”

“I have schoolwork,” she said but her eyes were closed, and I thought she was falling asleep.

I kissed her cheek, her forehead, her other cheek, feeling a wave of deep tenderness for her that was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. “Rest, baby girl,” I told her gently.

She didn’t stir.

“I’m going to talk to Amy, okay?” I spoke quietly. “And she’ll be gone for most of the day and into the evening. She has that convention. I’m not going anywhere so come get me if you need anything. I’ll either be working in my office or working out in the home gym.”

She just nodded, not opening her eyes.

I kissed her cheeks again, then her forehead, then her mouth. I licked her lips, my tongue sweeping in to stroke against hers, and even then she didn’t stir. She’d already drifted off.

I left her reluctantly.

Amy was still in the kitchen fidgeting with her burnt food.

We sat down and ate it together.

“Is she okay? Did I traumatize her?” Amy finally asked me.

I sighed. How to go about this? “She’s fine. Just embarrassed.”

“Oh, good. Me too.”

I met her eyes. She was smiling at me pleasantly. I was hoping she would make this easy. “About what you were saying earlier, before Nova overheard. I’m seeing someone. I meant to tell you yesterday, but it never came up, ya know?”