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A Shield Maiden’s Beast

Page 20

by Sky Purington

Despite my initial frustration with Helga the previous night for pushing Knud and me to talk, claiming our men saw the dissent betwixt us, I was glad she had. Far gladder than I let on when Knud confessed to sleeping alone after the celebrations at our fortress. Even going so far as to say he didn’t desire Signe nor had he ever lain with her.

And I believed him.

No fool, I could only assume Helga had something to do with enlightening him to why I might be acting differently toward him, despite my having no right. Given my relief at his news, I felt ashamed and frustrated with myself for behaving so childishly, because acting on jealousy was behavior that, at the very least, no leader should fall victim to, and I made note of that, intending to do better going forward. After learning he hadn’t lain with Signe, nor did he desire to be with her, whether I would admit it or not, something made all that much easier. I had no right finding contentment in the knowledge, yet I did, and it made returning to normal with Knud effortless.

“’Tis good to see you two back to normal,” Helga confirmed after I helped Freya oversee the loading of provisions for the journey, then gave her time alone with her family to say goodbye. The ships were nearly ready to disembark, so it wouldn’t be long now.

Helga gave me a thankful look. “Your changed behavior with Knud was noticed by all when we broke our fast, and ’twill make our voyage that much smoother whether you sail the same ship or not.”

“No doubt ’twill,” I acknowledged, honest because the moment deserved it and owning one’s faults was always best. “Thank you for bringing the matter to my attention, Helga.” I nodded once at her. “For ’twas mine and mine alone to make right.” I shook my head and remained honest. “’Twas my weakness, not Knud’s, and ’twill not happen again.”

“I wouldn’t say love is weakness, my friend, nor what it makes us capable of doing sometimes,” she said softly, seeing things clearly enough. “I can only hope it finds you both happy in the end, however many hurdles I suspect still lie ahead with this voyage.”

Before I could ask her just how much she knew, or better still, how much Knud might have shared, Soren and Freya returned, and it was time to set sail. My heart broke for my sister as she held her daughter for a moment longer before resting Katrine in Soren’s arms. Though Freya stood strong, looking every inch the shield-maiden with her shield strapped to her back and blade sheathed at her waist, a tear trickled down her cheek while she kissed and embraced them goodbye.

“Safe travels, my friend,” I said to Knud before boarding our ships. Gripping his arm, hand to elbow, I gave him a brief nod as we always did before braving the deeper waters. “And captain well.”

“You too, chieftain.” He offered the same brief nod and tightened his grip as if he didn’t want to let me go, his pale gray eyes lingering on mine. “My crew will remain by your side until we set foot on land again.”

After that, we said nothing more despite all the unsaid words simmering between us. Our gazes lingered on each other for another too-short moment before we let go and went our separate ways. I would miss spending time with him at the end of every day for our nightly conversations. It had been difficult enough the past few months while he was away, and now we faced weeks, if not longer, before they happened again.

Worse yet, they would cease altogether if I made a marital commitment.

“How would that work, I wonder?” Freya asked that evening. We sat alone at the bow of the ship, taking in the sun splashing vivid melon-colors across the shimmering sea as we sailed for the Isle of Mann. The skies had remained vast and blue all day, speckled with billowy white clouds, and the cool winds had been steady, giving the rowers a chance to rest. Knud sailed alongside, and the other ships had fallen into formation behind us.

Freya cocked her head at me and went on. “How would a Norwegian earl marry a king who lived so far away? It seems an implausible feat unless you intend to give up leadership of our Helvigs.”

“I could not say,” I replied. “Though I, too, have given it thought. Unfortunately, based on past marriages, I can only think of one way. The lesser of the two tribes would have to be overseen by someone who pays homage to the greater tribe and is appointed by the earl. If ’twas me and the King of the Isles, I would eventually need to reside with him and decide who should rule our Helvigs in my absence.”

“Which would only ever be Knud,” Freya assumed and rightly so, her thoughts hopeful, indeed, as she referred to Father’s wishes and the potential meaning behind my latest prophecy. “And that would make him a ruler of one of the oldest, most renowned tribes in all of Norway, which could in the vagueness of prophecy paint him as an earl in his own right and worth marrying, ja?”

“I think that’s a stretch,” I said softly, knowing better than to bother entertaining the idea.

“Despite how much you might wish it to be?” she prompted, eyeing me in a way that told me there was no use denying it.

“Ja, of course,” I said on a sigh, my gaze going to Knud. He stood at the bow of his ship, talking to Helga, forever at ease on the open waters. “But you see the issue in your speculations, do you not, sister?” I tore my eyes from him and looked at Freya. “He couldn’t hold such a position if I did not first hold mine as wife of the King of the Isle, making what you hope for impossible.” I shrugged. “One scenario cannot exist without the other.”

“Nor would it appease Father’s last wish of me,” I reminded her. “Like you and Astrid, I am to unify our Helvig tribe with one of equal standing, so that we might only grow stronger and more powerful.”

“While I understand your need to see through your promise,” Freya muttered, “I cannot claim to like it, as you well know.” Though she hesitated as if debating whether to go on, she continued. “Especially after seeing how much Knud cared for you at the tree when you were caught in your spell. Not to mention everything he’s done for our tribe, from saving your life to father’s and now, with the polar bear spirit so closely tied to him.”

What had he done for me at the tree outside of the obvious? Clearly, it had affected Freya, given how she looked his way with both pride and affection that had been lacking before. Although I hesitated to ask, I couldn’t stop myself if I tried.

“What do you mean?” I prompted, sipping my water, preferring not to imbibe mead on such a perilous venture but to keep my wits fully about me. Knud had always been with me when I came out of one of my spells, but this was the first time I was on his lap and the longest spell by far. “How did he care for me?”

“With enough affection and tenderness to make clear he’s long adored you as no other man will,” she said bluntly, going on to share some of the things he had said. How he had reminded me how strong I was so I would make it through my spell and return to him. How he would protect me until I did, with every fiber of his being, then continue protecting and caring for me for all our days to follow if I would only let him. She also told me how he had gazed at me with worry, keeping my hair from my face through the worst of it.

“’Twas more than clear how deeply he loves you,” she went on. “So clear ’twas obvious he will never love another like he does you. To my way of thinking, that makes you safest and undoubtedly happiest with him, given you feel the same.”

“He did all that?” I said, cursing the catch in my voice at more emotions than I was allowed to feel. Had he done that every time over the years when I’d roused awake to find him sitting nearby, oftentimes having moved me out of sight of others? Had he saved me from embarrassing myself so that I only ever appeared strong?

“He did,” Freya confirmed, seeming glad she told me. “And now you know so that you might keep such in mind going forward.”

While tempted to remind her it couldn’t matter either way, there was no point. Our conversation was bound to just go in circles. So I spoke of other things, and the day turned into night, then back into day again, for over a week. The winds remained swift at our backs, and we traveled from Norway to Scotland far faster than I thought possible.

“We sailed just as quickly the first time I traveled to the land of the Scots,” Freya revealed. Once again, we stood at the bow, only this time the sun was rising rather than setting. As expected, Knud and Helga did the same on their ship, having never left our side.

Freya eyed the horizon with concern and went on. “Though we never woke to skies like this.”