Page 54

‘Ha. She of film proportions of wickedness. One day, if they make a film of my life, her role will become iconic. A film villain to stand with the best of them.’

‘What exactly did she do?’

‘What didn’t she do? That’s the deeper question. And my stepbrother, whom I had thought would be loyal, would stick by me, chose to go over to the darkness. It is something I can never forgive. Once, even though our blood was different, we were as close as any brothers. That bond was forever broken one dark, cold night.’

Charlotte couldn’t help but think he sounded like an audiobook. She opened her mouth to ask another question, but James lifted a hand and called for the waiter.

‘Sir! Coffees and aperitifs, if you please.’

He got up to use the bathroom, leaving Charlotte sitting alone at the table. She stared at the empty chair, feeling a sudden sense of peace. He was interesting, for sure, but … vacuous. Just trying to concentrate made her tired, and she did have work in the morning. Worried she might nod off while waiting for James to come back, she got up to stretch her legs, going over to the counter behind which the two chefs were working, chatting amicably to each other while one made coffee and the other poured Amaretto into two glasses.

‘What are you getting Lewis for Christmas this year?’ one asked.

‘One of those Lego City sets,’ the other said. ‘He really loves trucks, so I thought I’d get him one of those car transporter things. It’ll take ages to make so at least will keep him busy into January.’

‘No video games?’

‘Not if I can help it. Something we can do together. I don’t want him staring into a screen all day long.’

‘Sounds good, I might see if Ben would be interested in something like that. What are you getting for the wife?’

The second chuckled. ‘That’s the question, isn’t it? The one I’ve been pondering since last Christmas. You can’t go wrong with shoes, can you?’

‘Shoes? Are you out of your mind? You’d dare to buy your wife shoes?

‘Oh, God no. I take her shopping in the sales. I’m not crazy.’

Charlotte couldn’t help but chuckle. With a start, the two chefs turned around. Both of them looked terrified.

‘Sorry to scare you,’ she said. ‘You know, coming from someone who has fifteen pairs of shoes—and that’s pairs in active service, not including functional shoes such as slippers, welly boots, shoes for the gym, that kind of thing—I just thought I’d tell you that if you do take the risk of buying shoes for your wives, while they probably won’t like them—just being honest here—they will serve a purpose. They’ll make the others look better. A bad pair can improve the other pairs without doing anything, if you know what I mean?’

‘Is that right?’

‘Yes. Although, I wouldn’t go with shoes as a main present. More like a side gift.’

‘What would you suggest?’

‘Well—again just being honest—you can’t go wrong with accessories or beauty products. Actually, you can go wrong—very wrong—but what I would suggest is that you start asking surreptitious questions a few weeks ahead of Christmas—or birthdays, for that matter—and only buy something that has been pre-approved. Or, if you don’t—and it’s a big risk—always keep the receipt, and don’t be offended when they ask for it.’

‘John, we should be writing this down.’

‘I’ll get a pen.’

Charlotte put up a hand. ‘I don’t want to scare you. Really, your wives just want to know that they’re loved. Even if you get the wrong type, as long as you get the right brand, that’ll show plenty of effort. They can exchange it for the right one. Just knowing that you braved the women’s section of the pharmacy will be enough to show them that they’re loved.’

‘Is this what your boyfriend does?’ the one called John asked.

‘Oh, he’s not my boyfriend—’

The toilet door opened, and James emerged, holding the door with one hand while putting a smartphone back into his jacket pocket with the other. He looked up at Charlotte standing by the counter with the two chefs, then shot them a look of death.

‘I trust my coffee will be hot,’ he snapped.

‘Of course, sir,’ they muttered together, hurrying back to their positions.

‘We were just having a chat,’ Charlotte said, as James stalked back to the table.

‘I’m sure it was rewarding,’ he muttered, rolling his eyes, and had Charlotte been confident of finding the way back through the forest, she might have fled then and there. As it was, while she didn’t think there were still bears in the English countryside, it wasn’t outside of the realms of possibility that one might have escaped from a secretive private zoo, and drawn by the elaborate smells of exotic cooking, be stalking the trees outside at this very moment. With no other choice but to endure James for a little while longer, she sat back down.