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“Maybe one day I’ll be ready to give up. But that promise is what got me out of my hospital bed and motivated me to beat the expectations of my medical team. I’ve proven I still have what it takes to play pro ball. Now I have to prove I’m good enough to do it at the highest level.” His self-confidence rang in every word.

“You’ll do it. You have too much talent and confidence not to. If you want it, you’ll make it happen.” I believed in him. His drive to succeed, to win, came through in how hard he worked and how much he cared. It didn’t make things easier for me. I would never be enough for him to give up on his goals. I had to get used to that.

I tipped my head back, my mind whirling. I couldn’t compete with a promise to his dead mom, and I wouldn’t try. I would enjoy every moment we had together, and deal with the pain when it happened. I was willing to put up with the pain, because being with him was worth it.

His arm nudged me, and I sat up. Crossing in front of the cabin down by the lake were half a dozen deer, minding their own business. Backlit by the colours of the sunset, it was like a wildlife painting come to life. We watched them silently until they moved on, to avoid spooking them.

When they had all wandered back into the trees, I trailed my fingers down Carter’s arm, tracing one of the scars left from the accident. “Thank you for bringing me here. I didn’t know how much I needed it.”

The scar tissue under my fingers was long healed, but what he shared with me this afternoon about his divorce still gnawed at me. How could anyone abandon the person they were supposed to love when they were in need? By the end of our marriage, I hadn’t been happy with Chad, but if he’d been injured, at risk of ending his career, I’d have stood by him. I didn’t understand Evie at all.

“You’re scowling. What’s the matter?”

“Nothing. Just thinking about Chad, and Evie. How both of us were let down by the people who were supposed to love us the most.” I shook off my melancholy. I didn’t want to talk about our pasts, and I didn’t want to think about what the future held. That was a recipe for heartbreak. “I don’t want to talk about them.”

“Me either.” Carter set his glass down and moved to hover over me. He pressed his lips against the sensitive pulse point on my neck, flicking his tongue over it again and again.

I shivered, his tongue sending bursts of electricity over my skin. I tipped my head to give him more access, moaning when he sucked the same spot, using more pressure. I dragged my nails down his back, then up his ribs, savouring the heat of his skin under my fingertips. The water and the jets sensitized my skin, and anywhere he touched burned. I wanted his hands everywhere, to relieve the unbearable tension I was feeling. I wanted to be connected to him. I wanted so much more than sex. I was begging for heartbreak, but it would be worth it.

I pushed lightly against his chest. He stopped kissing me immediately. “If you’re not in the mood, we can sit here and enjoy the night.”

I shook my head. “I’m definitely in the mood. I’d just prefer to be inside. Let’s go to bed.”

Carter stepped out of the tub, then held my hand to help me out. He wrapped me in a thick, fluffy towel to ward off the cooling night air, then laced his fingers through mine and led me to the bedroom.

Inside, he dried me like I was the most delicate crystal. Every movement made me feel cherished. He laid me out on the sheets, stopping just long enough to towel off the last of the water from his body. Then he crawled into the bed beside me, stretching out on his side next to me.

His gaze was hot enough to scorch as he surveyed me spread out on the bed. He skimmed his hand up and down my body, touching me with a reverence that scared me. Catching feelings was not supposed to be part of our bargain. I already knew I was in over my head, and that when he left, I’d hurt for a long time. I didn’t want him to wind up feeling the same way. It might mean one of us sacrificing our goals. In the end, that would lead to resentment. It would ruin whatever we thought we had. I had to remind him what we were doing here.

I rolled onto my side and pushed him to his back. “My turn.”

His cock was still semisoft from being in the hot tub, so I knelt between his legs and took him into my mouth. I pressed the flat of my tongue against his tip, rolling his head around, drawing a long groan of satisfaction from him. His reaction filled me with a rush of power. I worked my mouth up and down his shaft, feeling it grow and harden. Alternating suction and broad strokes with my tongue, I teased and tormented until his cock was throbbing, bobbing toward my lips every time I took them away, surging forward when I encircled his head again. I revelled in his response, the sense of total control I had over him.

He reached for my hair, but I grasped both wrists and held them down at his side as I bobbed my head up and down. My pussy was clenched tight, dripping wet and aching to be filled by every inch of this delectable cock, but I wasn’t ready to give him that yet. I wanted him on the very edge of orgasm when I rode him.

“You’re squirming, baby. You need to come so bad, don’t you?” he growled.

“I can wait.” It might kill me, but I wanted to suck him.

“I have an idea.” He pulled my head back, then guided me with his hands to turn around until my pussy was positioned over his mouth. “Now suck.”

As I closed my lips around his tip again, he clamped his mouth over me and dragged his tongue from my clit to the bottom of my pussy, then back up again. The pressure was relentless and hit every spot that was aching to be touched. I bucked like I’d been hit by a jolt of electricity. I squeezed my thighs together, trapping his face between them, and ground against his mouth, desperate to repeat the sensation. He swirled his tongue over my clit, and my insides tightened.

I drew his cock deeper into my mouth, with more force than I’d used before, taking it all the way until it bumped the back of my throat. The stronger I sucked, the more he played with my clit, drawing whimpers and moans from me as I worked his cock.

Carter sucked my clit into his mouth and pressed his fingers against my opening, first one, then another, working their way slowly inside and getting coated in my juices. Each finger stretched me more, and the fullness was delicious. Finally he had both fingers deep inside, and he finger-fucked me as he toyed with my clit. Ecstasy built inside me as I reached for release, but I held on. I wasn’t ready to come yet. I moved my hips in time with his hand, still sucking his cock, scraping my teeth and flicking my tongue over the head with every swipe.

I was so close to coming, riding his hand and his mouth. I wanted his cock inside me, but I also wanted to make him come in my mouth. He was so close, his head leaking salty fluid and his cock throbbing against my tongue. I gripped his waist and took even more of him down in my throat, swallowing him, making my throat constrict around him. He moved his hand faster and faster inside me, tongue moving frantically over my clit, driving me closer to fulfillment. I was struggling for control, trying to centre his pleasure, until I couldn’t hold back anymore.

With one final thrust of his fingers, I found my release, moaning against the cock in my mouth as he pumped his fingers into my shuddering pussy. I struggled to catch my breath without releasing his cock from my mouth. I inhaled deeply through my nose until I came down from the high.

I wanted him to reach the same peak I had. I moved my mouth faster up and down his shaft, increasing suction, wordlessly begging for him to come. He pistoned into my throat until he shouted and went still, his cock throbbing as he poured himself into me, and I swallowed every drop. The rush from driving him wild was like nothing I’d ever felt before.

When he was done, I slowly slipped my mouth from his still-hard cock before rolling off him. I shifted around until we were face-to-face again, snuggling into his shoulder. The sense of belonging that swept over me was a gut punch. I loved Carter. I was so fucked.

Chapter 36

Carter