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Then he drew back his hips and thrust forward into her mouth and she tightened her grip on the base, allowing him to use her mouth for his pleasure. She glanced up at him. His eyes were closed, and his expression was twisted in an almost feral expression of desire. She had never seen him so aroused, and a heated pulse of desire throbbed between her legs. His breathing was audible, and his grunts and moans told her he was close to losing all control as the thrust of his hips got deeper and more frantic, forcing his member almost to the back of her throat with each stroke.

He groaned loudly and wrenched backward, clear of her mouth, and she watched fascinated, as his member jerked, and gobs of opaque fluid spurted out the eye in several shots. It was hot and sticky. A dob landed on her chin, and the rest daubed her breasts in streaks and blobs. She watched as the organ pulsed, disgorging the last of its load, a final drop landing between her breasts.

Deo leaned against the headboard; his eyes closed as he got his breath back.

Emily traced a finger through the rapidly cooling puddle on her breasts and was in the act of raising it to her mouth to taste it again, when he opened his eyes and gazed down at her, his expression going from relaxed to horrified.

“Oh God, I’m sorry!” he said, his face flushing.

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. “For what?” she asked, sticking her finger in her mouth and grinning. “It’s still salty-sweet, what a treat!” She scooped up a bit more, and he just goggled at her, his jaw dropped.

“Here, let me,” he reached for his night shirt and wiped up the mess swiftly.

“Yes, I suppose I can’t eat it all,” she said, disappointed.

“Oh, Em!” He slid down beside her and pulled her close, tucking her face into his shoulder.

“What?” she said, slightly bewildered by his reaction. “Did you enjoy it?” she asked anxiously.

“Yes—yes, of course I did!” his voice sounded oddly thick, and she pulled her head back to look up at him. He blinked, but it didn’t disguise the tears in his eyes.

She put up a hand to his face, alarmed. “Oh, Deo, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing!” He swallowed visibly and sniffed. “You are the most perfect woman in the world,” he said, his voice cracking. Holding her tight, he buried his face in her hair.

She wrapped her arms round him and whispered, “You are the most perfect man.”

“No,” he sniffed again. “No, but you make me feel like one.”

She nuzzled into him, and he shifted to make her more comfortable. She yawned, the day’s activities suddenly catching up with her.

“We should try to find the rest of the cross tomorrow,” she murmured.

“Yes, we should. Go to sleep, sweetheart,” he murmured back.

She relaxed on a breath, and very soon sleep took her.

*

Deo held his wife—because, damn it, she is my wife in spirit if not in fact—and listened to her breathe. I love her. I love her so much it hurts. He was ashamed of his past weaknesses. His stupid embarrassment that had held him hostage for so many years. Em’s reaction to being covered in his seed was so natural and delightful he wondered how he could have been so afraid of something so silly for so long. I didn’t think I knew how to love, but she has taught me by the example of her sweet caring spirit. Does she love me? She hasn’t said so, but then neither have I.

That letter from the solicitors must arrive soon. Then we can settle things, and I can say how I really feel and hope she feels the same.

He swallowed down his irrational fear that he was inherently unlovable. If my parents didn’t love me, who would or could? He pushed the painful thought away and took comfort from Em’s warm body pressed against his. It seemed she could and did, if her behavior was any indication. It would be nice to hear her say so, but he needed to be brave enough to tell her how he felt first. It was the man’s privilege and pain to risk rebuff. He had thought to avoid all the messy complications of emotions, but he now saw how hollow and empty that was beside the richness that his connection with Em offered. When they made their second set of vows, as he was now convinced they would need to do, it would be in a very different spirit from the first time.

He sighed and closed his eyes.