Page 39
“Well, you have him now. You must love him a lot to go through all that.”
“I do.”
“And he must love you, too, for going through all that for him.”
“Perhaps. I used to think he loved me, but—I’m not so sure now.” Ava swallowed, her throat tight.
“I don’t understand why you want him, anyway. He is so old!”
Ava flushed. “No, he’s not! He’s—just the right age!”
Ingrid looked at her. “You’ll just have to make him love you—”
“It doesn’t work like that, Ingrid!” Ava wiped tears off her cheeks. “You can’t make someone love you if they don’t. And I’m very much afraid I’ve pushed him into doing something he doesn’t want to do.”
“He’s a man. Men don’t do things they don’t want to do. No one makes them do anything!”
“Robert forced his hand,” Ava said, remembering Robert demanding that Jerome marry her.
“Gosh, he must be weak if Robert can push him around!”
“He is not weak! He’s honorable!”
Ingrid snorted. “Honor or not, he wouldn’t have agreed if he didn’t want to marry you.”
“I wish I knew that was true,” said Ava, sniffing.
“You’re so tiresome since you fell in love!” said Ingrid, disgustedly. “Write to him then and find out!”
“I can’t do that. Mama has told the servants to show her any letters I want to send first.”
“Really? Well, I’ve never known Mama to be so draconian. You really are in trouble, aren’t you? What did you do, exactly?”
Ava flushed. “It wouldn’t be proper for me to tell you.”
Ingrid’s eyes went round. “Ava! You didn’t have intercourse with him, did you?”
“How do you even know what that means, you abominable child!” exclaimed Ava, not knowing whether to be shocked or laugh.
“Well, did you?”
“No! Of course not.”
“But you wanted to,” said Ingrid slyly.
Ava blushed scarlet, recalling her own behavior.
“Was he hard? Did he want you?”
“Ingrid!”
“Oh, I know I’m not supposed to know about such things. But I’ve got ears and eyes. James, the footman, and Elsie, the upstairs maid, have been having an affair for some time. I overhead some gossip between the maids.”
Ava sank her head in her hands with a muffled moan.
“Well, how else am I supposed to find out? No one will tell me anything. You all think I’m still a child.”
“You are, thank God!”
