Page 180
I climbed out of the SUV and started across the beach. The wind cut through my clothes while my shoes sank in the sand. Theo never turned around. If he heard me coming, he didn’t show it. He just kept staring at the water—something I was all too familiar with.
Instead of trying to figure out the right thing to say, I just lowered myself on the sand behind him. I settled one leg on either side of his body and wrapped an arm around him, gently pulling him against my chest. For the briefest moment, every muscle in his body tensed at the contact before he melted back into me. I increased my hold on him and pressed a kiss to the back of his hair. I lingered, staying close as I closed my eyes.
For a while, I didn’t say anything, and neither did he. The ocean filled the silence, waves rolling in and dragging back across the sand. I felt the rise and fall of Theo’s breathing as he rested against me. Every breath was uneven, and his shoulders hitched as he tried his best not to fall apart. I scooted closer and practically wrapped myself around him, trying to comfort him without words. If he was going to fall apart, I’d make sure he wasn’t alone for another moment.
A sob escaped him, and my heart fractured. His body curled inward like he was still trying to contain it—still trying to make himself smaller through the hurt. I tightened my arm, giving him space to fall apart.
“I wish I’d never told them,” Theo whispered so softly I almost missed it. His fingers gripped my forearm hard as he ducked his head with another sob. “I know I shouldn’t have to hide who I am, but… I want to go back.”
“I know,” I replied because I did know.
“I just want them to love me.”
Every word tore through another sob. I wrapped my other arm around him. There wasn’t a single thing I could say to fix this, no matter how badly I wanted to. I couldn’t give him different parents or erase what they’d said.
And so I didn’t try. I rested my cheek against his hair and held him through every painful sob without asking him to explain any of it to me. I couldn’t take any of the hurt away, but I could make damn sure he didn’t feel like he had to carry it alone any longer.
CHAPTER 86
Theo
BABY KENNEDY: Tell me you're safe?
BABY KENNEDY: I don’t give a fuck that Rhodes says you are. I want to hear it from you. THEO: I’m safe.
BABY KENNEDY: Good.
BABY KENNEDY: I want to be mad at you.
I know.
BABY KENNEDY: But I’m not.
BABY KENNEDY: What I will say is that it doesn’t matter what’s going on in my life, Theo. You’re still my best friend, which means you’re stuck with me.
By the time we checked into the motel, I didn’t feel sad anymore. To be honest, I didn’t really feel anything. The place was exactly the kind of cheesy little beach motel you’d expect to find in Bracken Harbor—faded nautical prints on the wall, a comforter patterned with tiny anchors, and a lamp shaped like a lighthouse. Under any other circumstance, I probably would’ve made fun of it. Instead, I sat on the bed with my legs crossed and stared at nothing in particular.
I’d showered because Rhodes had told me to. Apparently, being ordered around, even gently, was enough to get my body and mind to sync up long enough to do it. My hair was still damp, and the clothes I’d changed into weren’t mine. Rhodes had brought me a shirt and a pair of his sweatpants. They didn’t match, which told me he’d probably grabbed stuff in a rush to get out of Everdale.
Across the room, Rhodes paced slowly from one wall to the other, his phone pressed to his ear. Coach McBride’s voice occasionally crackled through the speaker, though I couldn’t make out the words. Rhodes was surprisingly calm as he discussed the team’s trip to Georgia—the same one I’d forgotten about. I was too drained to feel guilty.
I watched him walk back and forth over and over. Something about the repetition felt strangely comforting. It was easy to get lost in. The last thirty-six hours had left me feeling hollow, and I wanted to focus on anything but what had happened.
He must’ve felt me watching because he glanced my way and offered a small smile. I tried to return the gesture, but my face wouldn’t cooperate. The look he gave me made my cheeks flush with embarrassment. I hated feeling so pathetic.
Eventually, he stopped pacing and muttered a final response into the phone before hanging up. He set it on the dresser, plugged it in, and made sure it was charging.
“I’m sorry about that,” Rhodes said when he finally looked at me.
“It’s fine,” I replied. “Is the team okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s good to go.” He reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. The movement was casual, and normally, the sight of him undressing would’ve captured every ounce of my attention. Tonight, I mostly just watched because it was easier to give him what little I had left than try to deal with my own shit. He continued, “We have a flight booked for tomorrow morning. We should get there in time to get a quick bite to eat and get you to the stadium for warm-ups.”
“Okay.” My voice sounded distant, even to me. Rhodes paused with his hand on his belt as he watched me. The concern on his face made me look down at my hands to avoid him.
“Theo, look at me,” he ordered, his tone gentle, and I did. “If you can’t play or don’t want to, it’s okay. You can sit this one out. You just need to tell me.”
I understood why he was asking, but sitting this one out sounded worse than playing. I needed somewhere to go for a few hours—somewhere with rules, movement, and a clear next step. Football had always been good for that. I could run the play in front of me, take the hit, get back up, and do it all again without thinking too hard about anything else.