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Unfortunately, all I could think about was how much happier he looked walking away from me. That single thought became an obsessive thought I couldn’t chase away or reframe. And I certainly couldn’t explain why I cared so much.
“I need you to help explain something to me,” I began almost two hours later when I caved and called Sariah.
“That depends on what it is and how well you plan to listen to me,” she retorted in that all-too-knowing way of hers.
“Touché,” I said. “Why is he avoiding me? Not even a week ago, he was sneaking into my room in the middle of the night, and now he won’t hold a normal fucking conversation with me!”
Was I obsessing? Yes, I was. I couldn’t help it. I told myself it was because something had changed, and I needed to understand what it was. That I couldn’t fix a problem I didn’t understand.
But I knew better. Deep down, I knew this wasn’t about solving a problem. It was about the uncomfortable feeling in my chest that wouldn’t go away. It was about how that feeling seemed to stem from the fact that, somehow, in a matter of days, I’d gone from the center of his attention to being just Coach.
I didn’t like it.
And I refused to go into tonight’s game with this being the forefront of my mind, especially when I couldn’t seem to let it go.
“Are we talking about Theo?” Sariah asked. “Or are we talking about a different non-boyfriend boyfriend of yours?”
“Why are you mean to me?”
“Please,” she scoffed. “You’re the mean one; I’m the angry one. This is how we work.”
I smiled slightly. She was far from angry anymore, but I wasn’t about to correct her.
“All right, tell me what happened,” she ordered. “What changed with you two?”
“I don’t know.” I blew out a frustrated breath. That was the problem. I couldn’t figure out why he was suddenly putting up all the boundaries. Why now, when he’d spent so long chasing after me? “I’ve been a little distant because of everything with my mom.”
“Does he know what’s going on with your mom?”
“Jude told him.”
“But you didn’t talk to him about it?”
“No, that’s Jude’s thing,” I told her. “They’re best friends. I can’t overstep that relationship by telling Theo things that Jude should be telling him.”
It felt like a violation of their relationship, especially when Theo had no way to explain how he knew. It wasn’t like he could tell Jude who had shared it with him.
“Okay,” Sariah said. “I’m going to forgive your blindness as to why he’s behaving this way due to the circumstances. I will say I’m not surprised that he’s pulled away.”
“Oh? Do enlighten me because I can’t for the life of me figure it out,” I replied.
“The end is coming.”
“I don’t want to talk about that—”
“What I mean,” she interrupted me, “is that you’ll be coming home soon, Rhodes. You’ll be leaving Everdale for good.”
“Oh.” The single syllable escaped me before I could stop it. I frowned as I leaned back in my chair, my gaze drifting around my office. For a moment, I considered her statement. My leaving had always been the plan. It was why I’d kept my distance in the first place. So, why did the thought suddenly feel wrong? I pushed it aside before I could obsess over that too. “That shouldn’t matter. He knew this was coming. I’ve always been very clear that I wasn’t staying in Everdale”
“I know that,” Sariah replied. “But before, nothing was definitive about you leaving. There was always more time for you two. And just from what you’ve told me, I have a feeling that Theo cares for you a lot more than he lets on.”
“I don’t think—”
“Look, you can lie to yourself all you want. I can’t convince you otherwise, but I’m just saying that I’m not surprised he’s pulled away,” she continued. “You’re leaving, and that’s a big deal for him.”
“It shouldn’t matter, though,” I told her. “This was always how it was going to go. We’d never work. I’m not leaving Florida.”
“Yeah, but is Theo staying in Everdale?” she asked. That question stopped me cold. I opened my mouth, already reaching for another excuse, only to realize I didn’t have one. “You said he was being scouted, which means he’s not staying, Rhodes.”
