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“She’s in her moon nightgown. On the plane you told her the moon followed us from Stockholm. She still tells people that.”

He doesn’t answer.

“Tell your daughter goodbye.”

He looks at her door.

“If I see her, I won’t be able to leave.”

My hope rises too fast. I swallow hard.

“Then see her.”

He doesn’t move.

I wait for him to choose her door.

He chooses the front door.

The suitcase rolls right out behind him. That’s why we bought it. Four good wheels that don’t catch on the threshold.

I’m crying so hard I can barely breathe.

“Go, then. You’ve already decided.”

He goes.

The door closes.

I stand there with my hand on the lock until I hear the elevator at the end of the hall. The doors open. Then they close.

Then it’s quiet.

Nothing in the apartment even notices he’s gone. The fridge kicks on and hums and shuts off. Through the wall, the neighbor’s TV switches to some game show.

I was going to ask him to look at the fridge.

I go into Tova’s room.

She’s facing the wall with her eyes shut. Her blanket’s slipped off one shoulder. I pull it back up and leave my hand there until her breathing settles.

Then I go back to the kitchen and sit where I can see her door.

Sometime in the middle of the night I stop going over what he said and start going over what I did.

I picked him. I was young, and I looked at that man, and I decided. I’ve made bad decisions before, but I always saw them coming.

I didn’t see this one coming.

I don’t sleep.

Tova comes into the kitchen when the sky’s just starting to go gray, dragging her blanket.

“Where’s Pappa?”

I get down on my knees in front of her.

“He went to Sweden last night.”