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When you aren’t used to love, it’s hard to accept it without wondering when the other shoe would drop. Years passed, and nothing changed, but I still questioned whether I even deserved the love they gave me.

“You got my bald-headed lil’ baby upset. I should beat your ass. You’re lucky I fuck with you.” Messiah warned playfully.

“Messiah, I’m tired of you talking about my hair. You see my ponytail is touching my neck now, so you can’t be calling me bald-headed anymore. Your daughter actually blessed me with a couple pieces of hair.” Yaya tittered as she shook her head to show off the growth.

“You might not be bald-headed physically, but you’re bald in spirit, baby.”

I snickered because the two of them were always going at it.

“Yeah, whatever. You love to joke, but you love my bald-headed ass.” Yaya stuck her tongue out.

“Hell yeah. I love your dirty drawls. I never cared whether you had hair or not because you can cook your ass off and the pussy is stupendous. The fellas on the team talk shit about me all the time because I’m the only one damn near running and skipping out the door to get home. They don’t even understand that pussy got a nigga ready to do cartwheels and write poetry and shit. Ya’ scalp might be see-through, but that coochie⁠—”

“Aye, what the hell. Did you forget I was sitting here? See, this is exactly why I don’t come over here because y’all mothafuckas are too freaked out for me.” I frowned, while my sister grinned like a goofball. Messiah was standing behind her, whispering something in her ear. When her cheeks flushed, I knew it was about time for me to head out.

“Bae, stop. You know I’m ovulating this week, and I’m not on birth control.” Yaya whined.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? We have plenty of money and a big ass house. As far as I’m concerned, we can afford to have five or six more kids running around this bitch.” Messiah asserted.

“Aww, hell no. Deuce and Cherish are bad as hell already. Y’all don’t need any more kids. Deuce is a fucking menace.” I huffed, thinking about my badass nephew. The older he got, the worse he became. As soon as I walked into the house, his lanky ass came over, and he stuck out his hand for some money. As soon as I told him I didn’t have any cash on me, he kicked me in the shin and ran away. I owed his ass a beatdown, but his momma was soft as cotton when it came to him.

“Damn, you do have a point. We just had to pull Cherish out of daycare for pulling some little pale baby’s hair. They were fighting over a Barbie doll, and I guess Cherish said she had it first. They got into it, and my girl put the mitts on that poor little pale pilgrim. I keep telling Yaya she needs to put her in karate class instead of ballet. My girl needs to find an outlet for all that aggression in her little body.” Messiah expressed.

“Y’all need to stop speaking on my babies. They are young and still trying to figure things out. They are used to getting what they want and not having to share, so it’s an adjustment for them. They’ll figure things out eventually.” Yaya came to their defense like she usually did, and I laughed.

“Yeah, you used to say the same shit about me, and look what happened. I went to juvie several times for beating mothafuckas up and got kicked out of too many schools to count. You better get them in line before they end up like their uncle.”

Meesha wasn’t the best mother, but I know I gave her a run for her money growing up. I showed my ass wherever I went. When the schools couldn’t reach her, they would call Brenesha, and she would come up to the school showing her ass. She blamed the teachers for not being able to do their jobs, but in reality, I acted out because no one paid me any attention unless I did.

Yaya coddled me too, and while I appreciated her love, it did nothing to resolve the anger inside of me. Any time one of the kids at school made fun of Meesha or our living situation, I put them right on their ass without a second thought. Meesha thought the shit was cute, but I was tired of being the butt of everyone’s jokes.

My niece and nephew would never have to worry about things like that, but I also didn’t want the world to label them as difficult; it was hard to shake that stigma.

“Well, I happen to think you turned out pretty well, but I hear you. I’m tired of the teachers calling me while I’m at work because of these damn kids.” Yaya huffed, stuffing a piece of rib into her mouth.

“Umm, baby, these are so good. I could eat these without any sides and still be full.”

“Thank you, baby. You know I’m trying to maintain my title as the Grill Master of the family. Mothafuckas swear they can compete with me, but I’m the heavyweight champion around this mothafucka.” Messiah flexed his muscles, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

An hour later, we were all sitting down for dinner and catching up. My plan was to grab a plate and bounce but based on how tightly my niece Cherish clung to my leg, I knew I couldn’t leave right away. Plus, I wanted to talk to them about my interaction with ol’ girl at the shop.

“I think you should at least set up a meeting and hear what they have to say. We’ve been telling you for years to take your music seriously, and this is a chance to see if you really want to do it. At the end of the day, you don’t have anything to lose and a whole lot to gain if things go well.” Messiah reasoned.

“I agree with Siah. You know I’ve been pushing you to share your actual songs on your channel for the longest time. I’m not just gassing you up because I’m your sister. I really think you could have a future in music, plus you have connections in the family that could help you get your music out there too.”

I expected nothing less from them, but I still was on the fence. I loved music, but I wasn’t sure if I had what it took to go the distance. I had never performed for a crowd or anything, so I had no idea what kind of stage presence I would have. I guess it wasn’t something I needed to figure out right away because I hadn’t even set up a meeting yet.

“When’s the last time you talked to your bestie? I’m about two seconds from taking my ass up to that school and showing my ass. She’s been ducking and dodging the family FaceTime calls, and Serenity and Charity said she’s been giving them the runaround too. What do you know?” Messiah quizzed. I wasn’t surprised by his line of questioning because I had been concerned too.

I told Honesty I would be pulling up on her soon, and I meant it. My gut told me she was keeping something from me, and based on what her family was saying, I wasn’t the only one she was leaving in the dark.

“I’m about to ride up there tomorrow. She’s been playing phone tag with me, claiming she’s been so busy studying. I would have believed her had I not seen a video of her and her friends partying and tossing back shots. She was smiling, but her eyes were empty. I’m about to get to the bottom of things once and for all.” I assured him.

Honesty was Messiah’s youngest sister, but she was also my best friend. We met when Yaya brought me to live with her and Messiah when I was eighteen. We instantly clicked and were damn inseparable. We might not have grown up together, but she was one of the closest people in my life. She understood me in a way no one else did, and she never judged me.

When we first started talking, I was instantly attracted to her beauty. Honesty, aka Honey Bee, was beautiful inside and out. She cared about the people around her, and she was the type of person to bully her way into your heart even if you didn’t want her to. I was closed off when we first met, but she didn’t give a damn. Her little self stuck to me like glue, asking all kinds of questions I had no interest in answering, but she didn’t care.

Honesty was the first person outside of my sisters to make me feel loved. Even when I struggled to express myself, she never gave up on me. At some point, we both realized our feelings were deeper than friendship, but I decided to keep it platonic. Honestly, she was going off to college where she would meet hundreds of young men who had more to offer her than I ever could, and I didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship for some shit I knew wouldn’t work.