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I stood up in my seat the moment he started and sang every word like I'd written the songs myself. Solomon was a natural; he practically floated across the stage, making sure to give each side attention.

“I have a song I’ve been holding onto for a while now. It’s kind of personal, but I feel like now is the perfect time to share it. I might be alone in this, but has anyone ever been in love with someone you knew deserved better, but you still wanted them?” The crowd screamed wildly as he stood there talking. I loved the way he commanded the stage, exuding confidence and a little bit of cockiness.

“You see, I’ve got this best friend who I’ve been in love with since we were teenagers, and I’ve never loved anyone the way I love her. The problem is, she’s too perfect for me. Sometimes I worry that my rough edges will be too much for her, but at the same time, I can’t see her with anyone else. She’s mine, and she always has been.”

The music started as I stood frozen while the room cheered him on. My heart beat wildly, and for a moment I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I listened to every word in the song as he sang about being in love with his best friend and watching her be loved by the wrong people. Now it was time for him to step up and be everything she needed.

Internally, I wrestled with my thoughts because I didn’t want to get my feelings hurt. All of this could have very well been curated to push our fake relationship to the masses, but the passion behind his words gave me goosebumps. Solomon wasn’t the type to share his feelings, and music provided him with an outlet to express himself. I guess my only question was if this was how he truly felt or simply a catchy song his fans could relate to.

He ended the song with, “I love you forever and even after, Honey Bee. In my mind, you’ve always been mine.” I damn near passed out, but I tried to keep it together, especially after they flashed a light on me and I saw myself projected on the big screen. However, my tears had a mind of their own as I realized I was crying in front of thousands of people. A pretty woman behind me passed me some Kleenex, and I dabbed my cheeks and under my eyes. I knew Serenity would have a fit if I messed up my face.

My heart wouldn’t calm down no matter how much I tried. Solomon didn’t come back to his seat right away, and it drove me crazy because I had so many questions. He ended up winning two awards: Best New Artist and Best Collab for a song he did with Masego. Both times, I screamed until my voice gave out. Solomon was convinced he wouldn’t win in either category and he was just happy to be included. I couldn’t wait to rub it in his face that he was wrong.

I still couldn’t get his acceptance speech out of my head as I replayed it over and over again.

“First, I would like to take the time to give honor to my creator. Without God, this award wouldn’t be possible. My list is short, but I got some really heavy hitters in my corner. Naw, foreal, growing up, I would always consider myself a lone wolf in this world. As a grown man, I understand everything happened the way it was supposed to, and I’m grateful for the ones who choose to love me each and every day.

“To my sister, Yaya. I love you more than words could express. You’ve always been the mother figure in my life, making sure I was straight, and even when I was stubborn, you never gave up on me. I owe you everything. To my little sister, Malea. I love you, pretty girl, and I’ll always be in your corner, even when you piss me off. My brother-in-law, Messiah, you know we don’t do that soft shit, but you’re the realest man I’ve ever known. Thank you for teaching me what it means to be a man of your word and someone people can count on.”

He went on to thank a few more people, including his cousin, Draike, and I was so caught up recording me that I almost missed the last part of his speech.

“Lastly, I want to thank the woman who motivates me simply by existing. She’s probably in the audience ready to hug me and punch me at the same time because she hates being put on blast, but I couldn’t accept this award without thanking the reason behind my art. She is my reason and the muse behind the romantic side of my music and why I work so hard.

“She showed me what love meant at a time when I thought it didn’t exist. She’s the calm to the storms I carry inside and the peace through all of the chaos in my life. I used to feel like I could live without anyone in this world, but she came into my life and challenged everything I ever believed. I can’t live without her, and I don’t ever plan to. I love you, Honesty Graham. I’ve said it a million times over the years, but I don’t think you’ll ever truly understand how deep this shit runs. I’ve always said you deserve the best, and since I’m never letting you go, I gotta be the best. Thank you, everyone!”

The entire room erupted in applause and cheers, while I stood there trying to remember how to breathe. Someone tapped me on the shoulders, handed me a bouquet of lilies, and walked away.

I couldn’t name a time in my life when I was speechless, but in that moment, no words could accurately describe how I felt.

The rest of the event was a blur until they escorted me out of the building and into a limo. Serenity and Jett were in the Limo as we all waited for Solomon and Moe. I clutched my flowers as a million thoughts ran through my head. I wanted to talk to Solomon alone, but those dreams were crushed as soon as Solomon and his team entered the limo. They talked fast and gave him all kinds of instructions. Then the driver dropped us off at what appeared to be another venue, beautifully decorated and filled with people. I wanted nothing more than to go back to the room, grab some food, and have a heart-to-heart with the man I loved. I needed clarification on what he said because, even though I heard it, I had to make sure he meant it.

Solomon grabbed my hand as we walked through the venue. We were greeted with flutes of champagne, and I grabbed two, knowing I would need them. As soon as we walked inside, Solomon was whisked away to take photos. I spent the rest of the night with my sister, Jett, and a few people I met while we were there. Eventually, Serenity grew tired and decided to leave early. I thought about staying to support Solomon, but after two hours of only seeing his side profile as he mingled with guests, I decided to leave too. I wasn’t angry because I knew it had been a crazy night for him, but I didn’t want to sit awkwardly by myself for the rest of the night. I sent him a message to let him know I would see him back at the room. Jett ordered us food from a popular Caribbean place we had seen online, and they definitely lived up to the hype. I was barely chewing as I scarfed my food down and took a long hot shower.

My notifications were going crazy when we first got back, so I turned my phone off. After my shower, I turned it back on so I could do my nightly scroll on social media. My phone buzzed for two minutes straight before it finally calmed down. I made sure to reply to the sibling group chats first, then moved on to my friend groups.

Everyone sent compliments on my dress and how beautiful Solomon and I looked together. I hadn’t gotten to see any photos of us because I had been so busy. When I scrolled through my sister group chat, I saw that Serenity posted pictures of us. The smile on my face couldn’t be contained as I flipped through the photos from the Getty gallery. Not to sound conceited, but I looked even better than I thought. Solomon and I looked like a rich power couple, and I loved the way our outfits came together.

After I responded to the people I loved, I decided to bite the bullet and see what social media was saying. I prayed it wasn't anything bad, but you never know what to expect. My notifications flooded in, but one particular tag caught my eye. Solomon had posted and tagged me in it. Hurriedly, I opened the message to see what it was. My eyes nearly bulged out of my head when I read the caption along with the pictures of me singing while he performed and cheering when he won his awards. Whoever took those photos captured all the love and pride I carried in my heart for him.

The caption read, “As long as she’s proud of me, I can’t lose.”

My heart fluttered, and I regretted leaving the party. I went to our message thread and messaged him.

Me: I don’t want to rush you, but when are you coming back to the room?

Bestie: In the lobby.

I bit down on my bottom lip as I anxiously awaited his arrival. When I heard the door shut, my nerves grew even stronger. I didn’t know how to approach the subject, but I wouldn’t be able to rest until I got the answers I needed.

“Can we schedule it for noon instead of nine? I’m exhausted and you know I’m not much of a morning person.”

I listened as he spoke on the phone. As soon as he made it to the room, he removed his shoes and placed them back in the box they came in. He then removed his jewelry, making sure to place each piece in its own baggie before sliding them into a custom jewelry box. The older we got, the more I realized how particular Solomon could get about his things. I used to tease him about it, but now I wondered where it stemmed from.

“Alright, that’s even better. I’ll see y’all at noon on Monday. Sure thing. Okay, bye.”

I sat on the bed Indian style as he wrapped up his phone conversation. He set his phone down and continued to get undressed. Once he was down to his boxers, he folded his dirty clothes and placed them inside their respective laundry bag. Solomon always washed his clothes any time he traveled. He hated the idea of bringing dirty clothes back home.

“Hey, how are you feeling? I’m sorry about earlier. I had no idea it would get so chaotic and busy out there. Brandi told me it was a small after-party that I was contracted to attend, but there was nothing small about it.” Solomon explained, then leaned down to kiss my forehead.