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“See,” Eli’s mother whispered, “There’s no scent and you can clearly see he’s distressed. He’s obviously a beta and I wouldn’t want the poor dear to suffer mental anguish from trying to get pregnant and not being able to. Unfortunately, erroneous science has beta’s believing they can conceive with a dominant alpha.”
I can’t…
My vision swam, the elaborately decorated office becoming distorted. I turned on my heels, hurrying away from the group. I heard a commotion behind me but blocked out the yelling and swearing as I struggled to compose myself.
“Delaney! Wait!” Eli yelled after me, but I kept going, having to apologize as I lost the grip on my emotion, bumping into a few party goers once the tears started flowing. That small, dark voice dug into my mind, its claws piercing through the flimsy dam I erected, whispering heinously of my truth.
Empty.
You’re empty.
My chest tightened, my heart racing as dark clouds of despair and rage rolled over me.
It was my fault after all, wasn’t it?
Eli gripped my bicep, stopping me from walking into the driveway. Wrenching my arm free, I turned into the darkness, stalking away from him and into the yard. His tone was biting, harsh, and held a commanding edge as he shouted. “Goddamnit! Wait, Delaney!”
I whipped around, my tone matching his as I bit back, “For what?! So, you can lie to me about other trivial shit?”
“I didn’t lie. You didn’t ask me,” Eli lamely defended.
“Oh, bullshit!” Sorrow heightened my anger and the volume of my voice increased. “Am I supposed to ask a person for their full name? When is the appropriate time to ask if someone’s family is filthy fucking rich? Or if they’re in the midst of finalizing an engagement? The first date? Or after you fucked me on your dining table?”
He rubbed at the back of his neck, his shoulders sagging as he exhaled a long breath. “I can explain.”
I took a step forward. My eyes were hot with tears and despite not wanting Eli to see how deeply I was hurting, I stood my ground, glaring at him. “Can you? How? Let me guess, because I didn’t ask, it’s just you omitting the truth, right?”
Eli matched my ire, becoming indignant. “As if you’ve told me everything. You won’t even admit your feelings, and you expect me to be honest with you?”
“I told you—”
He was unusually loud, startling me into taking a step back. “‘Maybe’ isn’t a ‘yes’, Delaney. You find these little loopholes and ways to avoid being honest about your feelings and yet you stand here trying to admonish me about not disclosing my ‘full’ name—as if ‘Eli’ can’t be a fucking nickname—and withholding the fact that my parents are ‘filthy fucking rich’?”
I deflated a bit, shrinking back as I was confronted with my hesitancy to share my feelings. “I have my reasons,” I softly countered.
Eli didn’t let up. “And what are they? Hmm?”
Everything I’d been holding in for months—the anger, the grief, the utter despair—welled up and I lashed out. “You’ve always wanted children. Right? That’s what your father said? That’s the natural order of things, right?” My hands ball at my sides as I yelled at Eli. “I can’t ever give that to you. Even if I want to, I can never give you what you’ve always wanted. So, pray tell, what’s the point of me sharing how I feel about you when as soon as you find out that I’m fucking empty, that I’m broken, you’ll just end up leaving me anyways?” Anguish left burning, wet tracks down my cheeks, yet I did nothing to stop the flow.
“Wait, what?” The fight blinked out of Eli’s eyes as he stared down at me, his expression pained and confused. “What are you talking about?”
I avoided his question, asking one of my own in a brittle voice. “Will I ever be enough for you? Can you imagine a future where it’s just the two of us? No one else?” I swiped away fresh tears. “As an alpha would you ever be okay with coming home to an empty house? As an alpha can you honestly look me in the eyes and tell me you would be fine with never having a child?”
His silence was deafening.
Despite doing all I could to protect my heart, I felt bits and pieces chipping away as I looked up at Eli, waiting for an answer. The seconds passed, each one feeling like an eternity. I finally put him out of his misery. “You don’t have to worry about answering me. Your silence is answer enough. I’ll leave first.” I wiped my face and inhaled a shaky breath as I walked away. When he called after me, I ignored him, pulling my phone free to call Tristin.
He answered after the first ring. “I have so many questions. The main one being, how the hell did you happen to meet the Elias Bordeaux?”
“Can you come get me? I’ll text you the address.”
Tristin’s tone changed as soon as he heard my voice. “Of course. I’m on my way.”
Chapter Fourteen
Being in bed alone felt wrong. No matter how many times I readjusted the pillows or changed the sheets, nothing helped. Even now, as I went back into the large walk-in closet to get yet another blanket, I knew that nothing would make a difference. I’d been doing this for the past few days—obsessively cleaning, changing the sheets, washing nearly half of my wardrobe and taking the other half to the dry cleaners and yet…
Somehow Eli's scent permeated everything in my home. I’d been trying to rid myself of the smell, but I couldn’t. I knew I was being irrational, and despite behaving like I was losing my mind, I was still fully aware of how illogical my behavior was.
