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Ferris looks conflicted, probably due to years of holding everything in. He wets his lips and says, “It was about my life before Grand Prairie. My father, specifically. He was the leader of our community, but he wasn’t a good alpha. I commonly dream of the day I was exiled, especially after stressful events. That’s all.” His body language is all nonchalance, like he’s trying to brush this conversation off despite the shadows still darkening his eyes.

This is the most he’s ever spoken about his life before River, but I have always known that Ferris survived something awful. I saw when he’d flinch at River’s emotions, like he was waiting for punishment for something he didn’t do, and I always suspected that his loyalty to River had something to do with his family dynamics.

“You were exiled?” Dair asks. “By your father?”

“No, not my father. It was actually my brother that sent me away.” He swallows, eyes rising enough to peer at us from under his curls. “My dad wouldn’t have exiled me. To him, that would have been the weak thing to do, the compassionate thing to do. When he was done with me, he would have put me down like an animal. He almost did.” He whispers that last part and my heart aches.

Dair’s scent floods the room, wrapping around us in a blanket of security. Instead of using his dominance to manage us, it’s like he’s using it as a gentle show of his strength. See? his scent says. I am strong enough to protect you. I am dominant enough to shelter you in my strength.

“But he didn’t,” Dair says, like it’s a scientific fact. He doesn’t pry into the details, he just calmly states, “You survived.”

Ferris nods once. “I survived.”

I’m so proud of him for opening up, even if only a little. After a moment of weighted silence, I try to give Ferris a break by asking, “What’s the plan for today?”

Ferris exhales a small breath of relief and reiterates, “I’ll take water duty. We need to make sure we hydrate well today, and I’ll make sure to stock our packs. I’m also eager to explore what’s in all these buildings. There might be something useful.”

Dair nods in agreement and reaches across the foot of the bed to squeeze my ankle under the blanket. “I’m going to work on getting some food ready. I think I’ll shift and do a little hunting, too.”

“What about me?” I ask. “What should my task be today?”

“Resting,” both alphas say at the same time, pinning me with their intense stares.

I try to argue, but they remain stubborn. “Fine,” I huff, rolling away from their adoring eyes to tuck myself deep into the blankets.

[ 34 ]

FERRIS

Abandoned Farm

The nightmare of the day I was exiled echoes in my brain the whole morning. I think of that day often, knowing that the total loss of control over my alpha, and the resulting murder, shaped my being from that day forward. I always walked a thin line with my father, bending to his will only enough to keep me safe, but trying to secretly rebel when possible. Up until the moment I forced his gun against his head, I’d never believed the shit he said about me being weak, but when the bloodlust cleared, and I had to deal with the outcome of my failure to control my alpha, I realized that my whole life my father had been afraid of me, and for the first time I was afraid of my alpha too.

So, I pushed him down and ignored all of his instincts, including the building resentment against River boiling in my blood and the cosmic pull between Raine and me. I thought I had everything under control as long as I didn’t become the same kind of alpha as my father, even if it really fucking hurt. Then, I let my alpha claim Raine, and when reality came knocking, that same fear that had been muzzling me resurfaced with a vengeance. In that moment, I felt no better than the monster that sired me, taking whatever I want, and damn the consequences.

See what happens when you give control to your alpha? Not even your mate is safe, just like your mother wasn’t safe, that insidious voice hissed in my brain, and I ran.

But for the first time, the nightmare of my exile was more than I remembered. I had always thought that I killed my father and all of his alpha leadership, just like my brother said, but my nightmare reawakened something I had forgotten: the howl. Not of a Biter, but of a wolf.

Despite the chilly air, sweat beads on my forehead as I crouch next to the roaring fire currently boiling well water. My insides feel as turbulent as the bubbling water looks. On the door of the building behind me, I’ve constructed something of an outdoor shower using an old plastic tub as the water reservoir and parts from a water hose I found attached to the side of the house. Maybe I’ll feel better after a rinse.

I hear a huff moments before Dair’s scent surrounds me, but it’s muskier and spicier than usual. When I glance over my shoulder, I’m greeted by his wolf, prancing closer with several rabbits in his bloody maw. I can’t help but track his movements, mesmerized by his unusual fur that’s dark close to his body but lightens to a blond-gray at the tips. He unceremoniously drops the rabbits at my feet and then fur gives way to a lot of warm, muscular skin.

I try hard to keep my eyes on his face, maybe his massive chest at the lowest, but the sight of his thick, relaxed cock, and the bumps at the base resting against his testicles, catch my attention. With a more animal knot that never quite totally deflates, it doesn’t look like my own, but it’s dangerously appealing.

“Did you make this?” he asks, and I jerk my eyes back to his amused face.

“What?” I blunder.

“The shower?”

“Yeah, I just threw together some things that were lying around,” I say, slightly embarrassed that I was caught looking at his dick. “Speaking of . . .” I clear my throat and stand to grab the boots I found. “These might work, since you lost your other ones.”

Dair’s eyes trap me in their intensity as he grabs them from me. I shiver when his hand lingers on mine longer than necessary, creating a heavy electric field between us. Before the storm can break, he asks, “Have you looked through all the buildings?”

“Yeah,” I respond, my voice darker than usual. “Nothing interesting. There’s a nearly ancient vehicle in the far building that I could probably get running if I had the right tools and a solar panel, but it wouldn’t be worth the time or trouble when we’d just have to abandon it when we reach the Great River.”

“Mm,” Dair agrees, walking over to a pile of clothes I hadn’t seen to slip his cargo pants over his thick legs. The way they sit low on his hip bones is distracting. Truthfully, all of him is distracting. I like the way his broad, muscular shoulders match his thick waist. Dair is a large man everywhere, and his furred, bulky belly would be the most amazing place to rest your head. He looks like a shelter in a storm, somewhere safe to rest and recalibrate.