Page 34
“We both know that if you go back to the hotel, we’ll just stay up late texting each other anyway.” As we so often did. “This way, we can give our fingers a break.”
He chuckled, his shoulders finally relaxing ever so slightly. “That’s true.”
“I mean, I don’t want you to feel like I forced you to stay,” I said, half joking.
Maybe I’d been a little too aggressive, but I sensed he wanted to stay. I wanted him to stay.
I wanted to spend more time together. I wanted to hear more about my friends from home. I wanted to hear more stories from Carson’s time in the league. I wanted to talk about social media and hockey and anything else we felt like. Not through a screen, but in person.
I’d meant what I’d said. My relationship with my brother wasn’t Carson’s responsibility; it was mine. And I promised myself I’d find a way to talk to Levi about my friendship with Carson—soon.
“Thanks again for this,” Carson said, and I knew the matter was resolved.
“Do you want to watch a movie or something?”
“Sure,” he said. “If you’re not too tired.”
I was definitely tired, but I couldn’t seem to make myself go to bed. Not when Carson was here and I could spend time with him.
“I’m going to change, and then we can start something if you want. Feel free to make yourself at home. There’s a shared bathroom in the hallway.” I gestured toward it, and he disappeared inside with a thanks.
I continued down the hall to my room, closing the door before resting my back against it. What am I doing?
I was tempted to text one of my friends for their opinion, but I only had so much time before my absence would seem odd. Besides, I wasn’t even sure which friend I would ask. Bryn was so busy with Frasier and the baby, work and the team. I didn’t want to bother her with this.
I’d talked with Georgia a few times since Thanksgiving, but she seemed down lately. I couldn’t help but wonder if it had something to do with her mystery man and Kylie’s theories about him not inviting her to Thanksgiving with his family. I wondered who the guy was and what the hell was wrong with him. Georgia was a catch, and I hated that she’d been hurt by his actions.
Then there was Kylie, but I knew how stressful her job could be as a publicist. And she’d definitely seemed stressed lately. I could’ve talked to one of my teammates, but I wasn’t sure I wanted anyone to know about my friendship with Carson. Part of me liked that it was our little secret.
I tugged off my sweater and jeans, removing my bra before replacing it with a lacy bralette. I pulled on an oversized Dartmouth shirt that hung off one shoulder, pairing it with some leggings. Warm fuzzy socks and slippers finished the look, if you could call it that. I just wanted to be cozy. My body was tired after the game, and I wasn’t trying to impress anyone.
You sure about that? I asked my reflection as I checked my teeth for remnants of dinner.
I rolled my eyes at myself in the mirror and told myself to move on, but I couldn’t resist the urge to smooth a hand over my hair. Enough.
I opened the door and returned to the living room. Carson was still in the bathroom, but he emerged a few minutes later in fresh clothes. My brother’s clothes.
But I definitely wasn’t thinking about my brother as I ran my eyes over his former friend. I was thinking about how good Carson looked in gray sweatpants that hung low on his waist. The shirt was a hair too small, clinging to Carson’s chest in a way that showed off his muscles. And I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of him wearing it and all the memories it called to mind.
Carson tilted his head. “What’s that smile for?”
“I haven’t seen that shirt in a while, and it reminds me of happy memories.”
“Oh yeah?” he asked, following me over to the couch.
“Levi had it made when I played in the Winter Olympics in Norway.” And here I was admiring how the shirt looked on the guy my brother couldn’t stand. What is wrong with me?
Carson peered down at the shirt where the text “I watched women’s hockey before it was cool” was printed in bold letters. Levi had been such a big support for me during those games, and I hoped my brother and I would both get to compete in the next Olympics. We might not be able to play for the Hawks together, couldn’t win the Stanley Cup together, but we could represent Team USA together. And hopefully one day, we’d both have gold medals to show for it.
“He’s always been so proud of you,” Carson said. “Wanted to be just like you.”
I couldn’t help it. I smiled at the mention of my brother. I was grateful we could talk about Levi despite their tumultuous past. Carson rarely mentioned his family, and I’d realized recently that when he did, it was always in the past tense. I was beginning to wonder if he didn’t have much of a relationship with them, but I hadn’t pushed for answers.
“My mom has always cheered me on. Dad, too. But Levi’s always been my biggest fan. He was so excited when I was offered a scholarship to Dartmouth to play hockey. And I’ll never forget the day I was drafted to the PWHL. Or the moment Team USA won the gold medal.” I was so incredibly fortunate to have experienced all those amazing things and always with my family by my side.
“I remember watching some of those games. The level of play was so impressive,” Carson said. “What’s it like being there?”
“Electric.” I peered out the windows, my reflection showing me my wistful smile. “It was so much fun—all of it. The gear. Getting to stay with all the athletes in the Olympic Village.” He opened his mouth, but I cut him off. “Before you ask, yes, there are free condoms in the Olympic Village. And no, the athletes aren’t having orgies or whatever the public thinks we’re doing. Most people take the condoms for souvenirs.”