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“Damn it,” Leo whispered.

Nate sat on the step before his legs could make the decision for him. He was suddenly tired, drenched in sweat and sore everywhere.

Leo settled beside him, close enough that Nate could feel the cold along his arm. “I love you too,” he said.

Nate shut his eyes.

He hadn’t known how badly he needed to hear that until Leo said it. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and tried to take a breath that didn’t catch halfway through.

Leo stayed close. After a while he started talking about how Walt had liked seeing the flowers. He’d asked whether Nate had planted them. He’d said the house looked better than it had in years.

Nate listened, wiping his eyes, while Leo told him about the part of the morning he’d missed.

Eventually, Leo convinced Nate to go inside and drink some water. Then he floated by the sink, watching as Nate drank.

“You should eat something too,” he advised.

“I will.”

Leo waited. He could see a red mark on Nate’s palm where he’d been gripping the ax. He wanted to take that hand and turn it over, check the fingers too, although he wasn’t sure what he would do if he found something wrong with them.

Nate glanced over his shoulder. “Yes, okay, I’ll do it now.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You were going to.” Nate got out the bread and filled the kettle. He pulled out both tins of tea.

“Just enough to hold your hand,” Nate said.

Leo nodded without objecting. He didn’t think Nate should put himself through that right now, but maybe going without would be worse. At least it felt that way to Leo. It always sucked that they couldn’t touch casually, but it sucked especially hard right now.

When everything was ready, Nate sat at the table with his toast and his mug. He blew across the tea and took a careful sip. Leo took the chair beside him.

For a long moment, neither of them said anything.

Leo’s head was full of thoughts, but he wasn’t sure what to say first.

“I’d like Walt to come back,” he said eventually. “There’s still so much I want to ask him.”

“Of course.” Nate turned his mug between his hands. “I’ll ask Gordon for his number.”

“Thank you.”

Nate kept turning his mug.

“What is it?” Leo asked.

“Nothing. I was just…” Nate looked at him. “Do you want to be with him?”

Oh. That was what Nate was thinking about?

Of course he was. Nate had spent the morning helping Leo talk to the man Leo had said he loved more than anything. And then he’d told Leo that he loved him.

And now, while they sat at this kitchen table wishing they could touch, Leo had brought up Walt again.

What a mess.

“I still love him,” Leo said. “But…” He struggled for words.