Page 148
“And here you are, following in his footsteps.” His voice becomes demonic in a way I don’t think is humanly possible. But he’s here…all three of them combined, facing me down.
He nudges me up. “Get on your knees. We’re done talking.” The sheer amount of anger radiating off him spikes my fear up another ten notches.
The tension in my body grows torturous as I rise to my knees and place my hands on his muscled thighs as if I’m worshiping him.
As my last moments approach, I am as aroused as I had imagined.
He notices, because his eyes draw down to my chest, then to my lips, before making eye contact with me again. This time, he grabs my throat, his lips a soft breeze against my skin.
“Mikael, I love you,” I cry out softly before he has a chance to squeeze my esophagus. His eyes find mine and visibly shift, softening and dilating.
“You’re a fucking liar,” he growls. “You don’t love me. You only want the part of me society can handle. That’s not me.”
“I do love you, Mikael,” I plea, desperate for him to believe me.
He pulls off his mask and shuts his eyes. “You want to know how many people I’ve killed?”
I pause and wait, catching my breath, and he opens his eyes to face me. “Ten. And I can’t promise you there won’t be more. My anger is as much a part of me as my love for you is.”
I hitch a breath. Ten? Ten!
My hands discover his, which are still grasping my throat. He’s not exerting any pressure…not yet at least.
“I’m a serial killer. It’s in my veins; it’s part of my soul.”
“That’s not true,” I whisper as he edges me further onto the ground. “Lincoln told me the only people you killed were the ones Dr. Garcia had left for you. You were a child, Mikael, and she was sick to do that to a child.”
What the fuck is wrong with that woman? Why would a child psychologist do this?
He moves a hand to my cheek, causing me to face what lies beneath. “I killed that fucker who had his grubby paws on you all semester, and I’d do it again. He was going to fuck you tonight, whether you wanted him to or not. I watched him rape a girl in the bathroom on campus two weeks ago—him and two of his teammates. No one forced me to do it, there were no conditions or variables; it was just me.”
I press my lips together. “Mikael…”
His head quirks, but his body is still. It vibrates, almost as if he is otherworldly. It’s the fusion, I realize. Lincoln, Mikael, and that split of anger are fusing into one whole.
“That is still your name, isn’t it?” I ask softly.
His body vibrates as if the split wants to come out and play.
“Sorry to disappoint you… I’ve always been Mikael.”
My hands wrap around themselves, and I shiver, realizing Mikael is coming down from whatever psychotic trip he was on, and I allow myself to relax, no longer frozen by blind fear. It’s as if all my psychosocial senses for the last five minutes are dulled. I am, after all, lying on the cold ground.
He runs his hand down my arm, then pulls me into his body to warm me, wrapping his hands around me. “You’re freezing, aren’t you, pretty girl?”
After all this, after all we’ve been through…now he cares about my wellbeing. My teeth chatter and my body crumbles into his, and after a few long seconds, I peer up at him. His pale face, his gorgeous eyes. The light shining out of them.
“If I can still love my father despite what he did, why do you think I’m incapable of loving you, too?”
He pauses before he says, “Because I’m not loveable.” He trembles, reminding me he is only human. “She didn’t love me enough to stay.”
I lay my head on the ground, completely immobile at this point. If Mikael doesn’t end my life, maybe this cold, frosty night will. Taking a brief moment, I close my eyes and appreciate his presence. My gaze wanders into the darkness as I rest my head on the crook of his arm, relishing in his comforting heat.
All of a sudden, an image invades my thoughts, causing me to push away slightly. “There was something I saw a long time ago, when I was young,” I confess.
He adjusts himself, patiently waiting, while his heart pounds and the wind whistles above us. Gradually, the memory comes into focus, crystallizing in my mind.
“Go on,” he says.
