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I sigh. “That’s not true. I’ve seen it multiple times. It’s a Codex, currently in the psychology department at Kinsmen. My father gave it to them like an idiot, and now it’s in the hands of people who shouldn’t know anything about it. I intend to get it back.”

Didi watches me, tucking her hair behind her ears. “So, what happens now?”

I take a slow sip of wine. “I’ve been waiting for you to ask. We’ve all taken a blood oath of silence. Now that you know our secrets, you have to prove your loyalty.”

“Leave her out of this, Talia,” Tommy growls.

“No. She’s right,” Remy says. “Didi needs to show us that she wants this. She needs to become one of us.”

I haven’t decided what to do with Didi exactly. Both Remy and Tommy are in love with her, that much is clear. Do I force them to kill her as they both vowed, or is she needed for something else entirely?

“This is like some deep psychedelic shit,” Bax muses.

Tommy shakes his head. “I thought that was impossible. Membership is only through our bloodline. She can’t ever be one of us. Our parents won’t allow it.”

“She’s an anomaly,” I explain. “She isn’t supposed to be alive right now. You were supposed to kill her. So now she must prove herself, or she has to die.”

Didi’s eyes ignite, and Tommy runs a hand through his hair, shaking his head, meeting her heavy stare. “You don’t have to do this, firefly.”

Ignoring Tommy entirely, she meets my gaze, like we are the only two people in the room. “What do I have to do?”

DIDI

The bright lights from the football field blind me as we walk up. Remy keeps a steady hand on me as we approach the Sigma party. Tommy, Talia, and Bax are close, but are scoping the perimeter of the football field to make sure it’s all clear, leaving Remy and me alone.

I lean my head against his chest and let him cradle me as we stand behind the shadowed trees and the chain-link fence that runs along the edge of the field.

There must be at least twenty people on the field, dancing and twirling. The girls are wearing sleeved dresses, their hair bouncy and curled to perfection. Their dresses remind me of the kind Mama wore when she was younger when we went to church, before the church broke her. We’ve been here for a few minutes, and no one has noticed us. I suppose it’s easy to hide among the shadows when that makes up the very essence of your soul.

Despite the rumors of Shadowface all over campus, they are laughing and smiling as if spitting in his face with their righteousness. A couple of them hold a large sign that reads: Peace, Love, and Resurrection.

Remy snakes his arms around my midsection. “Jesus freaks,” he mutters, and my head falls back on his cool leather as I watch them. I now understand why he has such hatred for them. A long time ago, the Jesus Freaks would have been my people. But my faith brought only darkness and pain. And one Jesus Freak isn’t as pure as she portrays herself.

A few of the boys line up in a row, their muscles rippling as they take off their shirts and do pushups with the girls sitting on their backs giggling.

I watch Cindy in particular, especially after our intense interaction at school the other day and that moment of recognition. Her arms are wrapped around her handsome boyfriend, who is also the Sigma leader. I can’t stop visualizing Tommy and Remy fucking her, and it’s driving me insane.

“What are they doing?” I ask Remy as the two of us breathe in unison with his arms around me. He hasn’t taken his hands off me since I came upstairs from Tommy’s room. He must sense something’s different about me. I plan to do the same with him as soon as I can.

“This is one of their mixers. They do some stupid rituals to welcome new members to their little Jesus Freak club.”

I glance up at him and arch my brow. “Sort of like what we’re doing tonight.”

He presses his lips to the back of my head. “Yeah, baby, same idea.”

My pulse quickens, and I exhale slowly. The last time I hurt someone, it was born of desperation and burning fury. I don’t sense either of those things now.

I start to shake. “I…I don’t know if I can do this, Remy.”

He squeezes me, his lips grazing my ear. “You don’t have a choice, little lamb.”

Something’s shifted…the soft side of Remy I’ve had recently is replaced by the edgier version of him I first met in the library. I don’t know if I’m the one causing this, or if it’s something bigger.

“What if I screw up? What will Talia do with me?”

He swallows hard. “Do exactly what Talia says, and you’ll be fine. Remember what Cindy did to you, Didi. What Father Malcolm tried to do. Hang on to the memory of drowning and don’t feel guilty about this.”

Tommy slides in beside me. I didn’t hear the rest of them join us. “Focus on the dark places in your mind, firefly. It makes everything easier.”