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I shake my head like I can physically dislodge the thought.

That’s not…that doesn’t mean anything. It was a moment of confusion, a mistake. It doesn’t factor into what I want from my life.

what about you? you go first

It’s a deflection, and I know it. But I can’t answer that question right now, not when my head is this fucked up.

okay fair lol

honestly? i think i’d just want to find my person

like my actual soul mate, you know?

and then it would just be us

I’d take care of them. completely. like they wouldn’t need anyone else

just me

I read the messages once. Then again.

Something about them creates flutters in my stomach. Not in a bad way, exactly. But there’s an intensity there that feels…heavy. She’s not just talking about love, but about something more consuming.

They wouldn’t need anyone else. Just me.

sorry is that weird?

I just…idk. I think when you find the right person, you should give them everything

be everything for them

no, it’s not weird

But even as I type it, I’m not sure it’s true. Something about the way she phrased it—they wouldn’t need anyone else—sits uneasy in my chest.

good

anyway you should get some sleep

thanks for listening to me vent

anytime

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I can still feel the ghost of him. I close my eyes. I don’t want to think about any of it.

I open my eyes and stare at the message.

It’s…intense, almost too intimate. But that’s what makes it feel real. She’s not holding back. She’s not playing games. She’s showing me who she really is, bearing her heart for me. My heart feels different now that we’ve shared so much, maybe too much. I’m suddenly too tired for conversation.

And then I notice the time on my phone. It’s been thirty minutes. Thirty minutes of texting Gwen, and I’ve barely looked at my biology notes. I need to go home and actually study.

good night, Gwen

sweet dreams.

I shove my phone into my pocket and start packing up, stuffing my notes and textbook into my bag. As I sling my bag over my shoulder and head for the exit, my mind is spinning. I can’t stop thinking about soul mates. I don’t know if I believe in that kind of thing.

I think you meet someone with the same goals when you’re both ready and decide to commit, like my parents, except my dad didn’t really honor the commitment part. God, is that really going to happen to me? Am I going to end up just like my parents? How fucking pathetic.