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Margaret fell silent again, her eyes searching Eleanor’s, but she didn’t need to know more than what was on the surface of the question.
“With hindsight?” Margaret smiled. “At the time? No, I would have been too afraid. I knew what was needed of me, and I had a good life in a lot of ways because of the decision I made. And it was my decision. I don’t shy away from that. I understand it was expected, and there was pressure on me, but I made the choice. You’ll never know for sure whether the choices you made were correct or not.”
That didn’t fill Eleanor with hope, but it also made a lot of sense.
“Thank you, Mother,” Eleanor said.
“What for?” Margaret asked.
“You do have a lot of wisdom, and a lot of experience that comes with it. I feel better talking with you, and I must apologize as well.”
“You have nothing to apologize for, my dear.”
“I do.” Eleanor sighed. “You walked in here so full of life and laughing, and then I dragged you off to complain about my Season.”
“For one, my happiness is ready to come back in an instant.” Margaret chuckled, then smiled. “And second, I’m your mother, and you can say anything to me.”
“Anything?” Eleanor asked.
“Of course.”
How about that I’m developing feelings for the duke, but I dare not explore them? I know they are not returned, and that’s everything I fear about marriage after seeing both you and Father suffer.
“I love you, Mother,” Eleanor said.
“I love you, too, my dear.”
Eleanor embraced her mother, being careful not to disturb either of their costumes.
“Let’s go and have some fun,” Eleanor said. “That’s what I need right now.”
“Then that’s what we’ll have,” Margaret said.
Eleanor nodded. Perhaps her thinking had been wrong all along. She had been so focused on finding a husband during the Season that she had made it her one and only goal. She was at one of the Season’s highlights, and both she and her mother were wearing wonderful costumes. They deserved to have some fun together.
Yet, as she walked back toward the throng of people, she couldn’t help but think that there was a right way and a wrong way to have fun.
She didn’t need to go looking for it. Fun came looking for her in the guise of Sebastian.
“Lady Eleanor,” he said confidently as he approached. He wore a silver tuxedo with a matching silver mask, the top edge adorned with black feathers.
Eleanor wondered if that meant Gabriel wasn’t at the ball. He was supposed to be, but she remembered how Lord Fairfax had been wary and more guarded when Gabriel had been watching at the breakfast, the Déjeuner.
“It is welcome to see you again, Lord Fairfax,” Eleanor said politely.
“And what a beautiful costume you have chosen.” Sebastian made a show of circling Eleanor to study her from all angles. “The fairy queen Titania?”
“You have a good eye,” Margaret told him.
“And the beauty of the Spanish,” he replied, talking about her mother’s costume. “I can see where your daughter gets her sense of style from.”
“Oh, I like him,” Margaret said. “He’s far too young for me, but I like him all the same.”
“Will you do me the honor of taking this first dance with me?” Sebastian asked.
Eleanor didn’t wrestle with the invitation for long. She was determined to have more fun during her Season, and she would do just that.
“It would be my pleasure,” Eleanor said, holding out her hand.