Page 20

* * *

The first night I slept in her room, after walking home from the Louvre, just as we fell asleep, she whispered something. Not sure she meant me to hear it.

“I’m going to trust myself. He makes me stronger.”

Turns out, she makes me those things, too.

We have seven weeks left, and I’m beside myself with the idea of losing her. It’s clouding the present as I focus on our future.

I push open her door and inhale her scent, cataloging it for the too many nights of FaceTime ahead of us. Her face lights up; I drop my things and rush to her like it’s been days, not hours. We planned most of this day apart to see if we could do it. Not doing that again.

I slide my tongue over her lower lip. She throws herself at me as if this is our everyday domestic life without an expiration date. When we go home, we still have school, graduation, and living with our parents. It’s going to be so fucking weird walking away from all this freedom and time together.

We volley our tongues, then she grins while I’m kissing her. Gripping her ass, I can’t stop thinking about how I got her off with my hand last night.

“What?” I say, pulling back.

“Nothing. Just love you. And love being loved by you.” Her smile is so wide.

I say, “Well, that’s about the sappiest thing I’ve ever heard.”

I move to pick up my stuff from the floor. She tugs at me and says, “Come on. Let’s go explore.” We run down the street so we’re not spotted, in case someone wants to come along. As the days wind down, we’ve become selfish with our time.

“There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

“The answer is yes.” She smiles.

My eyes bug out of my head. “Yes to what?”

“My answer to you is always yes.”

I test that theory. “Wanna steal some gold?”

“Yes.”

“Shave your head?” I tug at her ponytail.

“Sure.”

“Wash my workout clothes?”

“Hell, yes.”

I kiss her roughly, desperate for her little moan.

“I’m tired of being timid. I’m tired of fucking hiding behind people, words, and books. And rules. Christ, am I sick of playing by the rules. My answer to everything is yes. Especially to you.”

“Well, now I have a different question… but we’ll get to that later.” I know we’re close to having sex, but I think that was my green light. Now I don’t want to go explore anything, I just want to go back to her room and shut us inside for a week.

There’s a wicked grin on her face as she licks her lips and says, “The answer will be the same. Yes.” Green light. My dick perks up as I pull her down the street, grasping her tightly so I don’t turn around and haul her into bed.

LIZZIE

I love when he rubs his thumb on the back of my hand. The sidewalks are sparkly in the sun where the locals have rinsed off the winter crud that invades the city’s beauty. We turn down a street and it’s different than where we’re staying. We’re on the Left Bank walking through the 5th arrondissement and my mind drifts to all the romantic things I’ve always conjured about Paris. We look like our future, walking together in a metropolitan paradise.

I planned this Lost Generation walk around Gertrude Stein’s Paris. I want to drift up to the 6th and find lunch around the Zadkine Museum. He was this funky sculptor and I think Danny would like.

We walk by Hemingway’s apartment and I imagine he’s up there writing The Sun Also Rises. I wouldn’t like to meet him—he was a misogynistic asshole—but he wrote a hell of a sentence. I imagine him explaining the blood and gore of Pamplona to Matisse as he draws in the dying light. Ezra Pound pouring them all another drink. I mentioned Huxley and his connection to Paris, and Danny countered with Picasso and T.S. Eliot. No one else has ever understood my fascination with found family like he does.