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I need to focus on getting through each day, knowing he might never be a part of it. I’ll return to the half person I was, but at least that person will be living completely in her truth. And hopefully, one day, be a doctor that helps people.
After a while Maggie says, “Is now when we get to dust you off and figure out what we’re doing next?”
“Soon.”
She holds me tighter, and I relax into her arms. All of this feels unfinished. I just don’t know what to do about any of it.
I turn off my phone and push open the rec center doors, and two of the three Slips are waiting on me. Dottie is taking a greasy hiatus because her man was tired of slippery sheets.
“There you are! You owe us some answers. We’re so incredibly curious! And Barton said he’ll be here to quiz you on some liver functions later,” Chelle says, but there’s a different rhythm to her voice. She’s usually more upbeat than this. I look around the room.
“Where’s Lana?”
Julia looks down at her feet.
I panic. “What’s wrong?”
Chelle touches my arm. “Her heart was out of rhythm.”
“Is she ok?” My stomach bottoms out and I hold it for support. It’s the worst part of working here. I know rationally these people are towards the end of their lives, but they’re so vibrant and my friends.
“She’s over in the med center,” Julia answers quietly.
I take her greasy hand. “Then let’s go.”
I chat with the doctor on call, and he lets me in on some of the med stuff because I’m pre-med. I also have clearance because I’m on her list of medical releases. She has congestive heart failure, and a new heart isn’t the answer at ninety-one.
Chelle is rubbing her arms with their prized body oil, and I smile as the women care for her. She doesn’t have children or a family. Lana’s husband died about fifteen years ago.
I stand behind Julia. Lana smiles weakly at me when I enter the room. She pulls her oxygen down and says in a gravelly voice, “Tell me a story, dear girl.”
“I will. Do you want the fairy tale or the Dateline version?”
“Always the fairy tale.”
I sit on the edge of her bed and tell the women the fairy tale. I tell them that he’s returning to Boston to pack up his life. He’s moving us into a beautiful home right here in Las Vegas, so I can keep going to med school and working. That I can stay close to my parents and that I’ll be in their lives.
She struggles to breathe, then moves her mask again slowly. “Liar.” Her lips curl up. “It’s not too late to change everything. I see you. You deserve it all.”
I squeeze her hand, and I don’t think I can watch. I may not be a doctor yet, but I know. As does everyone in the room. My story doesn’t matter anymore. My heartbreak will still be there when we get through what’s about to happen. I know it will still be there because it never went away in the first place.
Chelle talks to her, and Julia cries silently as she glances at her friends, and they all exchange a loving look.
I turn back, grin, and say, “Thank you for being my fairy godmother. I’ll see what I can do about turning it around.” My voice cracks, and Chelle scolds me.
“No. Not yet. And the most important thing we need you to do is figure out whatever you screwed up, and how you’re going to fix it and get that man.”
Julia says, “Do you love him?”
I squeeze Lana’s foot and answer earnestly, “Completely.”
She pulls her mask down and rasps out, “Then there’s still hope. Adventure awaits you, dear girl.”
My breath catches, and my body freezes. Is she a witch? A prophet? What the hell? And then she points at me as best she can as if she’s casting. I grin, and I leave her to say goodbye to her soulmates.
It’s empty around here. I don’t know how else to explain it. I’m baffled at how a 110-pound person could have taken up so much space. The service was delayed due to a water main break. They cremated her and she wants her things shipped far and wide to people she loved and knew around the world. Lana once told me the only reason she was in Henderson was because her husband brought her here. She felt closest to him here. They met later in life, and she’d follow him anywhere he wanted to go. She had twenty-six years with him. She said he was her second act and so she stayed in the area, traveling about, but always coming home. Without any real family to make the arrangements, Twisty Acres said we could have the service as soon as everything was cleaned up. The girls plan to take a trip to Lana’s favorite place in Puerto Rico to spread her ashes and then put her house there up for sale.
Chelle and Julia have packed up and are slowly distributing her things. They gave me her favorite scarf and several pieces of jewelry. One I think might be quite valuable is a choker necklace of onyx and diamonds. They also gave me her shoes. There was a small note from Lana on a post it that said, “For Makenzie.” They’re all so gorgeous. Ten pairs of designers like Michael Kors and Stuart Weitzman and a very well loved pair of red soles. I read that you can send a vintage pair back to them, and they’ll resole them. I like the idea of reincarnating a sole. And that my fairy godmother left me my own glass slipper. I once told her about my French secondhand Manolos and how I sacrificed them in the name of fleeing a bad decision.