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I smile and put out my hand. “Deal.” She shakes, then I ask, “Can I please strip you naked and fuck your most perfect body right now and we’ll sort through the rest of the shit as we go? Screw now, talk later.”

“I live in my parent’s sunroom.” Thud. My dick just deflated. “On a pullout couch.” And now it’s crawling inwards.

“Suite?” I suggest not sure how I can drive with this stiff rod.

“I need to show up to the funeral reception.” She explains.

That works because I need to fuck her now, and if we end up in a traffic situation, I’ll have to pull over and do it in whatever shitty car she has.

“The budget motel it is.” I say and she nods.

She continues to joke, but I’m seriously worried she’ll get some kind of ick if I fuck her on those sheets. “I hear they have a hell of a breakfast bar.”

I respond, “We can toast Lana with warm apple juice and mini yogurts.”

“She’d love that.” Her eyes get a little wistful, and I pull her closer. What I really want to do is buy her a house right now and a real bed. What I’m going to do is screw her on the first private surface I find.

“You know me. I’m not a snob.” She raises an eyebrow. “About most things. Shit. Am I? I don’t think I’m full-on, but ok.”

“You could explore more of my world, but you’re right, you’re not a total snob.”

I peck her lips. “Here’s the issue: sheets. I can’t grind your precious and perfect ass into the grossest, scratchiest sheets known to man. I threw away the good ones I ordered. Actually I had Lill burn them.” She laughs. “Tell me there’s a store where I can get good sheets.”

She kisses me quickly. “Follow me.”

mak

He raises his eyebrows at my car.

“You wanted the full Makenzie experience.” I sweep my hand down my car like a spokesmodel.

“Do they even make Saturns anymore?” He crosses his arms and stares at it.

“It’s vintage.” I say unlocking the car with a key.

“There’s no key fob. That’s a metal key.”

“Snob.” I stick my tongue out at him.

“Even the non snobs in the world would agree with me on this, it’s a death trap.”

I can’t help but giggle. He gets in and looks around. “Do you realize this is the first time other than the room you shared with Maggie I’ve ever been in your space.”

“What do you think?”

“I hate your car. Love you. Hate your car. But at least it’s tidy.”

“Snob.” He grits his teeth as I swing into Target and park. I turn to him, and his face is confused. “You do know what Target is, right?”

“Yes, but do they have sheets?”

“Oh my God, you over privileged man. You’ve never been to Target. They have everything. Come on, get out, there’s even a Starbucks inside.”

We’re holding hands as the doors swoosh open, and we’re bathed in the chill of really good air-conditioning.

He looks around, and his eyes are wide. Then he closes them and stands under a vent. “Can I at least get the air-conditioning in your car fixed?”

“It works fine.”