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By January, this would all feel different. The feelings would fade. The memories would blur. Lucy would go back to being just my manager and friend. The person who kept my life running smoothly. And I would be me. The guy that didn’t get attached.

Now, if I could just get my brain to erase the images of Lucy naked beneath me.

23

LUCY

Two weeks back in California and I still couldn’t get Alaska out of my head. It wasn’t the cold I thought about, though that had been brutal enough to leave a lasting impression. It wasn’t the bears or the bush planes or the endless white landscape that had made me feel like I’d landed on another planet.

It was him. Always him.

I sat at my desk in my home office. My only office. I’d given up the space I rented after I dropped my other clients. It didn’t make sense to waste the money on a cute little office space. Especially with Jeremy’s travel schedule.

Blackwell Couture had started rolling out the campaign, and the response had been overwhelming. The images from Alaska were everywhere. Billboards. Magazine spreads. Social media ads that seemed to follow me no matter where I scrolled. They had rushed that campaign through, capitalizing on the late season sales. I couldn’t get on social media without seeing Jeremy in a tuxedo on a frozen lake. The chopping wood images had exploded. Sebastian was creative. I’d give him that.

The campaign had elevated Jeremy to a whole new level. He’d been successful before, well known in the industry, respected by the people who mattered. But this was different. This was the kind of visibility that turned working models into household names. He was a bigger name than many A-list celebrities.

My phone had been ringing off the hook with requests. Luxury brands. Fashion houses. Even a few movie producers who wanted to know if he’d ever considered acting.

I fielded the calls, responded to the emails, and did my job like the professional I was. I ran anything worth a second glance by Jeremy. But I did most of it through text and email. Safe, impersonal communication that didn’t require me to be in the same room as him. I wouldn’t have to smell his cologne or watch him smile.

Distance. That was what we needed. Time apart to let things settle back into their proper places.

I missed him though. Which was stupid because he was a phone call away. A short drive if I wanted to see him in person. But I missed the version of us that existed before Alaska. The way I could be around him without my heart trying to beat right through my chest.

Maybe that version of us was gone forever. Maybe what happened in the cabin had changed things in ways we couldn’t undo, no matter how hard we tried to pretend otherwise.

I was in the middle of drafting a response to the manager of one of the hottest pop stars in the world who wanted Jeremy to play her love interest in a music video when my phone rang. Jeremy’s name flashed on the screen. I felt that familiar flutter that I’d been trying so hard to suppress.

I took a breath and answered. “Hey.”

“Got a minute?” He sounded like his usual casual self.

“For you? Always.” I winced at how that sounded. Too eager. Too familiar. “What’s up?”

“I got a message from Adrian. You know, my cousin in New York? The oldest one?”

I knew Adrian. I’d never met him in person, but I knew of him. The eldest heir to the Blackwell Couture empire. “What did he want?”

“Apparently the response to the Alaska campaign has been even better than they expected. They want to do more of it. Similar concept, different location.”

“That’s great news. Where are they thinking?”

“Switzerland. The Swiss Alps, specifically. They want to shoot the week after Thanksgiving.”

I pulled up Jeremy’s calendar on my laptop, scanning through the dates. “That should work. You’re clear that week. I’d have to move a couple of minor things, but nothing that can’t be rescheduled.”

“Perfect,” he said. “So, do you want to come with me?”

The question hung in the air between us. I thought about Switzerland. The Alps. Another freezing location where I’d have to bundle up in seventeen layers just to survive. Another shoot where I’d spend hours watching Jeremy look impossibly beautiful while I tried not to think about what it felt like to kiss him.

A month ago, I wouldn’t have hesitated to travel with him. Seeing the Swiss Alps was a luxury I typically considered a perk of the job.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I’m not sure I’m ready for another cold trip.”

“Fair enough.” Was that disappointment I heard? Or was I just imagining it because I wanted it to be there? Maybe he was actually relieved I wouldn’t be tagging along and making things weird. “It’s totally your call. I just thought I’d ask.”

“I appreciate that. Let me call Adrian and get the details. I’ll figure out the logistics and let you know what the plan is.”