Page 90

31

LUCY

The drive into the village was a welcome distraction from everything swirling in my head. Under normal circumstances, I would have been enchanted by the postcard-perfect scenery. I did plan to snap pictures and send them to Gram, but not yet.

At the moment, I was trying not to throw up in the back of the SUV.

The driver dropped me off in the center of the village, pointing me toward the main street where he said I’d find what I needed. I thanked him in my terrible attempt at German. The pharmacy was easy to find. A small storefront with green crosses in the window and displays of skincare products.

I wandered the aisles, looking for something familiar. The packaging was all in German, which didn’t help. But some things were universal. I found the stomach remedies section and grabbed what looked like the Swiss equivalent of Tums. Close enough.

I was heading toward the register when I passed another aisle. I didn’t know what stopped me, but a little voice hopped in my head and told me to walk down the aisle. I did and refused to acknowledge what that voice whispered.

Pregnancy tests. A whole row of them, different brands, different prices, all promising accurate results in minutes. I stared at them like they might bite me.

No way.

That voice would not shut up, though. I couldn’t make it go away.

I did the math in my head. When was my last period? I’d been so busy with the campaign and the holidays that I hadn’t been paying attention. But now that I thought about it…

No. No way.

We’d been careful every single time. Even that first time in the cabin when things had happened fast, he had used a condom. A condom he had in his wallet. How old was the damn thing? Did the cold damage them?

My stomach lurched, and this time it had nothing to do with altitude or travel. I grabbed a test from the shelf before I could talk myself out of it. Then I grabbed a second one. Because what if the first one was wrong? If I was going to do this, I was going to make sure to double check the results. I added them to the basket with the Tums and a pack of makeup wipes, then carried everything to the counter with shaking hands.

The pharmacist rang me up without comment. If she noticed the combination of items, she didn’t show it. I paid, shoved everything into my bag, and practically ran out of the store like I’d just committed armed robbery. The driver was waiting for me in the SUV like my getaway driver.

I sat in the back seat and clutched my bag, trying to convince myself I was just being paranoid. The exhaustion, the nausea, and the emotional swings could all be chalked up to jet lag. Normally, I would say flying in a petri dish would be to blame, but we’d flown private. No rogue viruses and germs. The only one I’d been swapping fluids with was Jeremy, and he was in tip-top shape.

The tests were burning a hole in my bag. The driver took me to the chalet. Once there, I hopped out of the SUV, thanked the kind man in my very limited German, and dashed inside. Jeremy was still on the mountain. I had time to get an answer and freak out or laugh at my absurdity.

I went straight to the bathroom and locked the door behind me just in case Jeremy got home early. My hands were still shaking as I opened the first box. The instructions were in German, but the pictures were clear enough. Pee on the stick. Wait three minutes. One line means not pregnant. Two lines means one of those fucking condoms was defective. Jeremy was a well-endowed man. Maybe he’d busted through it. No, he would have known and I knew he would have told me.

I did what the instructions said. Then I set the test on the counter and stared at it, my heart pounding so hard I could feel it in my throat. I did math, but honestly, I had no idea when it could have happened. There’d been a lot of sex. Was it too soon to be feeling any symptoms?

Three minutes. Three minutes to find out if my entire life was about to change. The bathroom was cold, but I barely noticed. All I could do was watch the time on my phone.

What would I do if it was positive? What would Jeremy do? We were still navigating the line between professional and personal. A baby would change everything. Talk about way too soon.

After an eternity of waiting, my phone timer went off. I took a deep breath and made myself look.

Two lines.

Two very clear, very undeniable pink lines.

Oh fuck.

I grabbed the second test and ripped it open. False positives were a thing. Time for a second opinion.

I followed the steps again and set the second test on the counter to wait, breathlessly counting the seconds.

Nope.

Two lines. Now four lines. I was pregnant.

No wonder I’d been feeling so terrible. The exhaustion that sleep couldn’t fix. The nausea that came and went without warning. The way my emotions had been all over the place, crying at kindness and getting choked up over nothing.