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"Stop," I whisper.

"Stop what?" His tongue touches my skin. "Stop telling you the truth, or stop slipping beneath your defenses with it?"

"Both." Dammit. Didn't mean to say that either.

"Can't," he groans, his fingers dipping into the waistband of my sleep shorts. "Christ, Nova. I fucking can't. It's killing me that you hate me."

"I…I don't hate you," I whisper.

"No?"

"I don't understand you." That's nothing but the truth. He teases me like it's his job, drives me nuts like it's his mission in life, taunts me like he can't stop, and looks at me like he wants to devour me. And then, when anyone else is around, he acts like none of it ever happened. He's on his best behavior.

He wants me…but only in secret. And I'm not willing to be anyone's dirty little secret, not even Huxley Saint's.

"What don't you understand? Tell me," he growls. "I'll fix it right now."

"It doesn't matter," I mumble. "None of this matters."

"Liar."

"Let me go."

"Not until you tell me."

"Fine." I pull back, glaring up at him. "You want to know why I'll never sleep with you, Hux?" I wait for him to nod. "Because I refuse to be the girl you fuck in secret, then refuse to acknowledge when anyone else is standing in front of us. And we both know you'll never tell anyone."

Hux blanches, his jaw clenching. "Is that what you think?"

"No," I say softly, "it's what I know. You've been dreaming about me for four hundred and eighty-three days, you said? Cool. And how many times have you told my brother that you're into me? How many times have you told anyone that you're into me? The answer is that you haven't. You're a famous athlete, and I don't fit the brand. You may want me, but only if no one else knows, and I will never be that girl."

Guys like him date and marry willowy little models with fanbases of their own. They don't date plus-size women who'd rather gouge their eyes out than have a fanbase. I refuse to change everything about me to make myself more palatable, and I refuse to be a secret. Which leaves us precisely where we are. He wants me…just not enough.

"It's not like that, Nova."

"It is, though. It's exactly like that. This is a game to you, and I'm not interested in playing or being a prize or a trophy or a notch or whatever it is that you're after." I grab my skirt, taking a step back. "I have more respect for myself than that."

"Nova, wait," he growls behind me when I turn on my heel, marching from the kitchen.

"This conversation is over, Huxley," I call. "Find someone else to play with. It won't be me."

It doesn't matter how much I like him. It doesn't even matter that I've dreamed about him every single one of those four hundred and eighty-three nights. I won't be his secret. I won't be his shame. And I damn sure won't be a game he wants to win just so he can stroke his own damn ego.

No, thank you.

Chapter Four

Huxley

Nova steals the keys to one of Nate's cars while I'm in the shower. By the time I step out, she's gone, nothing but her sexy-as-fuck scent lingering in the air. I briefly contemplate following her to work to spank her pretty little ass, but quickly decide against it.

The movers will be at my place with her shit soon…and I'm thinking I've got until she gets off and realizes it wasn't delivered here to convince her that she isn't a game to me and never has been.

It blows my mind that she thinks she's a secret. She's never been that. Half the goddamn team knows how I feel about her. Her brother certainly does. I've never tried to hide it from him. I told him straight up, day one, that I was going to marry his sister.

He laughed in my face and told me that he wouldn't hold his breath. I thought he'd mentioned it to her. Clearly fucking not.

Jesus. Is that why she's kept me at arm's length for so long? Because she thinks I'm ashamed of her?