Page 67
“Then I’ll sell the house; I don’t think you understand how serious I am when I say I don’t give a fuck. For what I’ve done, she deserves every last cent in my account, and to live her life free of me,” Jacob said, thick sorrow and regret lacing his words.
My heart plummeted to the soles of my bare feet, and the rage deflated. Was he talking about me? He wanted to sell the house? What the hell was happening?
“I told you, I’m sure this is what I want. Make it happen, and make it happen by the end of next week.” Jacob hung up the phone, releasing a heavy sigh and raising a hand to run through his hair.
Curiosity got the better of me, and I stepped out from behind the corner. “Jacob?” His shoulders turned rigid underneath his crisp white shirt, but he didn’t turn to look at me. “What’s going on?”
Several beats passed before he spoke. “Charlotte, please go back to the bedroom.”
The devastation in his tone hit me straight in the heart, and before I knew it, I was closing the distance between us, my feet moving on their own accord. “Jacob?”
Despite what he’d done to me, I couldn’t bear his hurt and anguish.
He spun around, tears glistening in his eyes, which met mine for the briefest of seconds before lowering to my chest. They scanned over the tattoo and bite marks, shame twisting onto his face before he tore his gaze away. “Please, Charlotte. I can’t look at you right now.”
His words were like a dagger spearing my heart, pain surging through me at his rejection. “Because another man touched me?” I asked, my voice feeble as fear crawled up my throat that he hadn’t been able to forgive me for allowing Rocco to lay a finger on me.
Jacob’s eyes shot up to meet mine. “No. Christ, no. I…” he broke off, his gaze once again dropping to my chest before coming back to meet mine. “I’m so fucking disgusted with myself for what I’ve done to you.”
He broke off, choking on the last word, and as he began to turn away from me, I caught the first tear rolling down his cheek. Sorrow slammed into me like a tsunami, and my own tears filled my eyes.
In that moment, Jacob wasn’t the powerful, strong man I’d come to see him as; he was broken. Defeated. The anger still bubbling away under my skin cooled, and I stepped around him to face him. My heart cracked a little more to see that not just one tear had fallen, but a stream of them.
“Jacob, look at me,” I said when he refused to look my way.
I didn’t know what I was going to say to him; words were stuck in my throat, but I hated seeing him like this, even if he was the reason for his own destruction.
“I can’t, I-”
I grabbed his hand, squeezing it. “Please, Jacob. Look at me.” He lifted his head, guilt burrowed into every inch of his face. “What’s going on? Who were you on the phone to?”
Another tear slid down his face, and when he spoke, his tone was thick with guilt. “I’m trying to correct my mistakes.”
“Your mistakes?” My own tear slid down my cheek, my heart shriveling in my chest. With my bottom lip quivering, I asked, “Me?”
His eyes widened. “No. Fuck, no, angel. You are the best thing to ever happen to me, and I fucked it all up.” He freed his hand from mine, using the back of it to wipe away his tears. “I tried so hard to not be like my father, to not repeat the things he did to me and my mom, but I failed. I ruined the one bit of happiness I had.”
Words failed me at his admission. He’d never spoken about his childhood before, other than telling me he’d grown up in an environment similar to mine. A powerful wave of empathy flowed through me, and a hundred images played in my mind as to what Jacob’s childhood must have been like.
Clearing his throat, Jacob’s features hardened. “I know I won’t be able to make up for what I’ve done to you, Charlotte, but I can at least give you the life I wanted you to have.” He inhaled a shaky breath, his gaze darting between mine. “When we get back to the States, you’ll be free of me. We won’t be able to get divorced, but I promise you, we’ll go our separate ways, and I’ll make sure you never have to worry about anything. You’ll have more money than you can spend in one lifetime, and you won’t have to worry about your parents using you again. You’ll never have to see me, and I hope that one day, you’ll be able to find true happiness.” More tears welled in his eyes, but he didn’t let them fall. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be a better husband.”
He turned away, taking several steps to the back of the plane toward the bedroom I’d woken up in. My heart hadn’t just cracked down the middle; it had shattered into a thousand pieces, but I didn’t understand why.
Wasn’t this what I wanted?
Jacob had locked me in a cell, convinced me to let him choose what I wore, demanded I not talk to any other men, drugged me countless times so he could use my body, and branded his name on my chest. And yet… as he walked away, I couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing him again.
“Jacob, wait,” I called before I could convince myself that us breaking up was the right thing. “Do I get a say in any of this?”
He paused, peering over his shoulder. “What is there you could say, angel? I know you can’t forgive me for what I did to you yesterday. Fuck, I’ll never forgive myself.”
“Why?” I sobbed when he began walking away again.
I didn’t really know what I was asking. Why had he done that to me? I already knew the answer; he was scarred by whatever traumas he’d endured as a child. Why hadn’t he stopped himself from repeating history? I guessed I knew the answer to that too. Some wounds never healed and made you irrational. Made you act on impulse, only for you to regret your actions when the fog of insanity had cleared.
There was only one question I didn’t know the answer to, and it tumbled from my mouth in a barely there whisper. “Why, Jacob? Why did you make me fall in love with you, only to break my heart?”
In four long strides, he was back in front of me, gently lifting my chin, his cheeks red and blotchy. He held my gaze as a thick atmosphere surrounded us, neither of us speaking for what seemed like an eternity, and my thoughts nothing but chaotic as they raced around in my head.
