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“Ah! Now you are thinking like a sensible woman!”
“And now I am being selfish again. What happened next?”
“Oh! Then it got even more embarrassing!” said Lizzy, moving closer to Jane and speaking in a soft voice so that Mrs Gardiner, in the hall, was forced to move closer to the gap between the door and the architrave. “Then, his mistress turned up.”
“No!”
“Yes! She is a duchess and still very good looking though I am sure she dyes her hair!”
“Really?”
“Yes! And she could not keep her hands off him, even when his sister came into the room! It was embarrassing to watch.”
“Oh, Lizzy!” said Jane, quite in sympathy with her sister, now sure that Mr Darcy could have no intentions of marrying Lizzy if he was in love with a duchess!
“But it got worse!” whispered Lizzy.
“Worse?” said Jane, shocked, wondering if Mr Darcy and the duchess had perhaps started kissing.
“Then his aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, turned up with her daughter Anne, and she said they should marry immediately because he had venereal disease!”
Outside, in the corridor, Mrs Gardiner almost spluttered from shock, whether from the impropriety that her niece had been exposed to or her willingness to repeat those words aloud was not clear.
“Venereal disease?” asked Jane. “Is that something you get in Vienna?”
Lizzy looked at her sister. “Errh, no. But it is contagious, so I was a little surprised that his aunt was so eager for the match,” said Lizzy lamely.
Jane nodded her understanding, urging Lizzy to go on.
“So, then I escaped to Mr Darcy’s study, and who do you think walked into the room?”
Jane shook her head.
“Mr Collins!”
“No!” breathed Jane, bringing her hand to her mouth. “Did he see you?”
“No, thank God! I hid behind the curtains.”
“Oh, Lizzy, what a narrow escape!”
“Yes, but it was the last of my adventures,” said Lizzy, trying to downplay the denouement. “For I lost my cameo on Saturday and Mr Darcy recognised it. Thus ended my disguise. He was furious when he discovered who I was. He thought I had entered his house to entrap him.”
“Oh, dear! Did he throw you out?”
“No, he kissed me.”
“Kissed you!” shrieked Jane.
“Shh!” hissed Lizzy. “You must promise never to tell! Cross your heart and hope to die!”
“Of course!” whispered Jane. “But he must like you!”
“Not anymore!” said Lizzy decisively.
“Why not?”
“Because I bit him,” confessed Lizzy.
