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Lady Catherine pursed her lips and nodded in understanding.

With a bow the earl was off, wending his way back to White’s.

Calling her servants in, Lady Catherine ordered them to load the carriage for their return to Kent. But when an hour later they were ready to depart, she gave the Darcy townhouse as her immediate destination.

Mrs Gardiner was admiring Princess Brunhilda’s engagement ring, a Fitzwilliam heirloom, in the natural light from the window of the saloon when Hildie spotted Lady Catherine’s carriage pulling up in the square. Hildie signalled her fiancé.

Richard quickly relayed the news to his cousin, “Darcy, don’t look now but Aunt Catherine has arrived.”

Darcy rolled his eyes. “I am not looking, Richard!”

Richard turned to his cousin in puzzlement before realising his faux pas. “Sorry, I had a bit to drink yesterday. Aunt just got out of her carriage looking as mean as a bear and will be knocking on your door any moment now.”

Darcy looked pained. The last thing he wanted was a scene in front of his new relatives.

“Richard, you need to help me upstairs!”

When Richard pushed Darcy into the hall, Elizabeth left Georgie’s side at the piano to follow her husband, asking if he was tired. Receiving confirmation, she was soon following Finn and Richard up to his bedchamber. When Lady Catherine knocked imperiously, they had reached the first floor. The rap of the knocker was heard clearly in the saloon above the music of the piano. But apprised of the situation by Hildie, Georgie kept playing. The guests continued to listen politely as they sipped their champagne.

After setting down the champagne bottle he was holding and closing the saloon doors upon the guests, Farley delayed opening the front door as long as he dared. He knew that knock.

“Ah! Lady Catherine!” greeted Farley, with every aspect of deference. “I regret that the master is indisposed. May I pass on a message?”

Lady Catherine narrowed her eyes. “Let me into the vestibule so that I may write one.”

Stepping back, Farley admitted Darcy’s aunt and her parson who gripped his hat nervously.

Glancing around the vestibule, Lady Catherine’s eye immediately fell upon the gleaming wooden lacquer and bronze fittings of the walking machine.

“What is that?” she asked, noting the large cream ribbon tied to it.

“A new exercise machine for the master,” replied Farley honestly.

Lady Catherine started towards the writing implements on the console before diverting quickly to the saloon. “I wish to see my niece,” she declared.

The sweat started to bead on Farley’s brow. Reluctantly he opened the doors to the saloon. Arriving at the threshold, Lady Catherine took in the guests in their finery, including a clergyman, and the partially consumed cold collation. She knew immediately that she had been tricked.

Standing a polite distance behind his patroness in the vestibule, Mr Collins failed to recognise his relatives during the brief glimpse he was afforded of them. He was forced to step backwards quickly when Lady Catherine turned abruptly to head straight for the stairs. After dithering for a moment at the bottom of the steps as he crushed his hat brim, Mr Collins dutifully followed.

Meanwhile, Lord Matlock was just emerging from White’s. None of his friends would have deemed the earl a cautious man; call him instead mistrustful—he had left a footman in the vestibule of the Pulteney. As soon as this lackey heard the earl’s sister give her directions to Darcy’s townhouse rather than Kent, he had run to fetch his master. Hailing the hackney standing at the front of the queue near his club, the earl stepped quickly inside.

When Darcy initially requested to be carried upstairs, Richard had wondered if his cousin meant to hide in the attics as they had done when they avoided Aunt Catherine as boys. But Darcy intended nothing so undignified.

Once he was deposited on the bed, Darcy quickly began removing his gloves. “My cravat, Finn, and my boots! Elizabeth where are you?”

“Here, Fitzwilliam! What is going on?”

“Get in bed!” said Darcy as he shrugged out of his coat. “My aunt has walked through the front door.”

“What do you intend?” asked Lizzy in alarm, kicking off her slippers while Finn’s fingers deftly undid the buttons of Darcy’s waistcoat.

“To consummate my marriage before my aunt tries to have it annulled!” said Darcy, stripping off his shirt.

Lizzy’s eyes widened in alarm. “Fitzwilliam, you cannot be serious...” she replied, mesmerised by the sight of his naked chest. She was having difficulty tearing her eyes away from his pale skin and the rose-coloured areoles stretched over the musculature underneath. She had never seen a man’s bare torso before.

“Hush! Do not worry! Just pretend! Get between the sheets!”

The thump of Lady Catherine’s stick was getting closer. Darcy could hear Farley trying to reason with her.