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The weather continued cloudy, but as the rain was only misting down, Darcy chose to sit on deck in his greatcoat rather than join the game of loo in the saloon. When he was not thinking of mathematics, he racked his brain for eligible ladies he did not find too distasteful, occasionally scribbling a name in his ivory notebook only to rub out half the names later when he recalled something inane they had said. Darcy wistfully watched Ingelheim pass. He would have dearly loved to visit Charlemagne’s capital, which he had heard retained remnants of its Roman settlement, but he was determined not to encourage any further delays. By the time they steamed past the confluence of the Main River, he had written down the names of ten eligible females but retained only two.

As they neared Mannheim, the weather cleared, and Bingley and Hurst reemerged from the cabin to get some fresh air. On the morning they left the Rhine to steam into the Neckar River, the sun emerged for the first time in several days to sparkle on the water. The gentlemen took advantage of the fine weather to sit on deck as they passed Heidelberg, and when the sun reached its zenith, the ladies finally joined them—Caroline wearing a ridiculously light muslin and twirling a parasol in place of a bonnet.

“I say, Caroline!” expostulated her brother. “I know it’s a fine day, but do you not think that you should be wearing a pelisse?”

“Nonsense, Charles! How warm it is!”

Kicking off a pair of mules, Caroline passed her parasol to her sister and climbed onto the rail at the stern, flashing her ankles in a pair of pretty pink stockings with cream clocks.

“How invigorating the autumn air is!” she said as she discreetly transferred her legs to the other side of the rail under the cover of her skirts so that she could face their wake.

“A bit too invigorating, if you ask me, for that outfit!” remonstrated Charles before spotting his valet emerging from the cabin. “Crimplesham! Will you ask Caroline’s maid to fetch a shawl?”

“Why, I almost feel I am flying!” Miss Bingley proclaimed, steadfastly ignoring her brother and stretching out her arms like wings on either side.

“Caroline, you are making me nervous perched atop that rail like a pelican. Do come down!”

The words had no sooner left his mouth than, with a shriek and a splash, Caroline fell into the river. A sharper shriek followed in quick succession when she became acquainted with just how cool the water was.

“Man Overboord!” yelled one of the sailors.

“Bedoel je ‘Dame overboord!’?” corrected another, skilfully flinging a plank in Caroline’s direction.

A whistle was blown, the sails swiftly sheeted and the paddlewheel thrown in reverse. Caroline, clinging to her life preserver, still drifted slowly aft.

Frankly suspicious, Darcy looked at Hurst and Bingley. “She’s your sister!”

“Darcy, I cannot swim!” said Bingley, looking with distress at Caroline who took one arm off the plank and proceeded to emit another high-pitched shriek.

Unable to suppress a smirk, Louisa unfurled her fan quickly to hide her lips. Caroline had taught herself to swim admirably over a series of summers when Mrs Benton’s Academy had visited Ramsgate in their youth. She had been nicknamed ‘the fish’ by the other girls who frequented the bathing machines. Louisa disguised her facial contortions by fanning herself vigorously, as if overcome by events.

“Don’t you go swooning now!” Mr Hurst warned his wife.

In a trice Darcy had his shoes, stockings and tailcoat off. After a moment’s indecision, off came the waistcoat as well. It would not do to ruin a second one. Over the rail he went. He had to swim a hundred yards to reach Caroline.

“Oh!” she moaned, dipping her head under as he approached. Then, as Darcy reached her, she launched herself toward him with a splash, yelling, “My saviour!”

Darcy found his arms suddenly full of Miss Bingley.

“Caroline, I think it would be better if you continued to hold onto the plank while I push it to shore. We can rest there until the sailors launch the tender.”

“Oh!” she exclaimed, clinging tighter and climbing up his body to push her breasts into his face. “I am so scared!”

It was at this moment, that Darcy became pointedly, so to speak, aware that Miss Bingley was not wearing stays. Now what was he to do? If he waited for the tender, she would have to climb into it in front of the sailors, essentially naked.

“Caroline, if you grab hold of the plank, I will push you back to the boat.”

“Oh, Darcy!” she exclaimed. “My fingers are so cold! I do not think I will be able to hold on!”

Darcy had to admit the water was definitely chilly.

“Do you think you could cling to my back, if I swam to the ship?” he asked.

“Oh, yes!” she averred. “I could put my arms round your neck. That would be better!”

Caroline climbed onto Darcy’s back with great facility. He proceeded to swim back to the boat like a frog. He could feel Miss Bingley’s breasts pressed tightly to his skin through the thin layers of their wet clothes.

As they neared the ship he shouted out to Bingley: “Get a blanket!”