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I got changed, put my hair up and did my face. My left shoulder caught when I rolled it, so I worked it loose before taking the mask from its case.

At nineteen, I had needed it. I was paying my way through college and I could dance for a room full of strangers as Blondie, but not as myself. Robin and the men worked the door while I learned. I stopped dancing when I graduated. Coming back now, I could have gone onstage without a mask and used my own name.

After I stopped dancing, I met Seb. He’d seen me play around on a pole at Venom Virtues, but he’d never seen me under lights. When Mavis asked what to put on the poster this summer, I knew which name I wanted. I wanted Blondie back, mask and all. Dancing again had been my choice, and it was one of the best choices I’d made since coming home.

There had been a moment, before I said yes to Mavis, when I’d wondered what people would think of Sparrow’s mom working at The Hot House. Then I thought about the women who’d cheered me on through college and come back the next week with their friends. I wanted my daughter to know I loved this. She could decide what she thought of it when she was old enough to ask.

I fastened the mask and went out to work.

The first turn told me my grip was good. I caught the pole, let my weight swing, and heard the room quiet as I climbed.

There was a count under the music, but I didn’t have to chase it. My hands knew when to hold. I took the sit cleanly and let the applause carry me into the next turn. My arms burned. Four months after Sparrow’s birth, they tired sooner than they used to, so I’d built a set that played to what I could do now. I liked it better than the one I’d danced at twenty-three.

I liked the way the crowd followed me, too. I could take my time at the top of the pole and make them wait. I could come down fast enough to make them gasp, land where I meant to, and grin behind the mask while they cheered. For eleven minutes, I had a room full of people with me.

The couple at the front table were back again. The woman had whistled at me last week, loud enough to make her girlfriend jump. Tonight she raised both hands when I caught her eye. I gave her the turn she’d come for, the one that looked as though I’d lost my hold until I stopped inches from the floor. She was on her feet when I landed. I could hear her laughing over the music.

I spotted Seb near the back wall partway through the set. He stood beside the hall door with his hands at his sides.

I almost missed my grip. He’d held Sparrow that afternoon while I sat across from him, and now he was here watching me dance. I caught the pole, found the music again, and heard the crowd cheer the turn. He’d never seen Blondie like this. I wanted him to see how good I was.

For two and a half years he’d been the man I looked for when I came into a room. Tonight I wanted him to watch me, and when I saw that he was, I felt a little rush of pleasure. I stayed with the music. What Seb and I had to sort out could wait until I was off the stage.

He stayed at the back. When I looked over again, he wasn’t smiling. He watched every move, and once, when I held myself high above the floor, he tipped his head back to keep me in sight. I knew that look on him. He was trying not to miss a thing.

Then another thought came, sharp enough to distract me for half a turn. Blondie was on a poster outside. Had that been how he found Kettlewell? I couldn’t ask him from up there, and I wasn’t going to let the question spoil my set.

I finished to cheers, sweaty and shaking in the best way. I looked toward the back wall before I left the stage. Seb was still there.

I went down the hall, shut the dressing-room door, and took out my phone. The first thing I saw was the thread where I’d sent Seb those photos of him and Sparrow. I stared at it longer than I meant to.

He’d seen me take the pole at Venom Virtues with Handful and Austen there, but that had been a joke between friends. At the clubhouse, we’d traded filthy little codes across a crowded room. He’d glance at his phone, look up at me, and I’d know he’d got every word. Coming offstage tonight, I’d wanted to do that again.

I could send him a message now. I wanted to tell him he’d distracted me, that I had still nailed the set, and ask what he thought of Blondie. I even had the code in my head. But sending it would ask for the man I’d been with before that night in the clubhouse, and we weren’t that couple anymore.

I set the phone down, took off my mask, and called Robin instead. “He’s here.”

“I know. Simon’s been inside the whole time. Dion had the side door.”

“How long?”

“Came in while you were getting ready. Stood at the back.”

“Where is he now?”

“Gone. Left as soon as you were off. Simon saw him out.”

I stood there in my robe with the mask in my hand. “You knew he’d come?”

“I thought he might. We’ve kept an eye on the place since he arrived. Some of us expected a scene, Jenny Wren.”

I understood why. Seb and I had never been shy with each other behind our bedroom door. In public, he’d always kept close when somebody looked at me too long. Tonight he’d watched men and women look at me for a whole set. I couldn’t imagine he’d enjoyed that. He’d stayed at the back and kept his thoughts to himself.

“And?”

“He watched you dance and left you alone.” Robin paused. “Are you okay?”

“I am.” I looked at my mask on the table. “I had a good set.”