Page 58
“And I hated that man saying your name.” He looked at me. “I wanted to go after him. I didn’t because Dion had it handled, and because I couldn’t stand the thought of embarrassing you at work. But I wanted to.”
“That sounds like you.”
“That’s the problem. I don’t know how to be that man and ask you to trust me again.”
“I liked that you wanted me for your eyes only. I told you that when we were together.” I took a breath. “The jealousy didn’t make you play that video. You made a choice. You believed a screen over me and wouldn’t ask me a single question. That’s what has to change.”
“Ask you,” he said with a nod.
“And listen to the answer. I’m not asking you to sit in the club and pretend you don’t care who looks at me. I want to see you looking at me like you did when it was just us.”
His eyes met mine over the rim of the mug. I remembered exactly what that look felt like.
“Is there a chance for us?” he asked.
I could have told him to wait and see. He would have heard a promise in it, and I wasn’t ready to make one. “I honestly don’t know, Seb.”
He nodded, but he couldn’t hide what that did to him.
“I still love you,” I said.
He went still.
“That didn’t disappear because you were a dick to me. You made me happy for two and a half years, Seb. I loved waking up beside you. I loved the filthy little messages you sent when I was sitting across a room from you. I loved how you made me laugh when nobody else could.” My voice caught. “I loved being yours.”
“I love you,” he said. “I haven’t stopped.”
I knew. I’d seen it in his face every time Sparrow reached for him. I wanted to go round the table and put my arms around him, but loving him wasn’t the only thing I had to think about now.
“I love being Sparrow’s mom too. I love dancing on Wednesdays. I have Robin and the others, and I have a life here that I built myself. I can’t go back to Millfield and pretend this year didn’t happen. I don’t know if I could ever live there again.”
He glanced toward the back bedroom, where the boxes of my Millfield life were stacked. He didn’t try to talk me out of what I’d said.
“Venom’s in Millfield,” I said. “They’re your family. I don’t know what that means for us.”
“Neither do I.” He reached across the table, then stopped short of my hand. “I’m here now. I’m not going to disappear while we work it out.”
I put my hand over his. He held on, and for a minute neither of us said anything.
When I got up to leave, he walked me to the door.
“Friday at three?” I asked. “Sparrow wants you to read her the book about the bear and his hat.”
Seb raised an eyebrow.
“She lights up when you do the voices,” I said, laughing. “Especially that ridiculous squeaky rabbit.” I wasn’t about to admit how much I loved listening to him read to our daughter.
“That rabbit took practice.”
I was still smiling when I reached the car. I felt lighter than I had in months.
Chapter 20
❧
— Glitch —
Idon’t know if I could ever live there again.
