Page 84
But before my briefs are even halfway up my thighs I realize Sunny’s shaking, and when I stare for another three seconds, I realize it might not be in the good way.
“Hey, hey, no. Sunny, did I hurt you? Fuck, are you okay?” He just shakes his head from one side to the other, but I still can’t see his face.
He’s sobbing now, and I don’t want to make anything worse, but I can’t do nothing.
“Sunny, I want to pull your shorts up. Is it okay if I touch you?”
“Y-yes,” he stutters.
I make it quick, and it’s a weird thing, but I’m relieved when he pushes his hips up to make it easier for me.
Dressing him is for sure a whole other ball game than undressing him, but now I don’t know what to do.
Fuck.
What do I—
I crawl next to him and lie down right by him, our sides barely touching, but I’m hoping that’s enough and not too much.
“So, I didn’t hurt you?” I need to know at least that.
“No, T-T-Tucker.” The words are muffled by his hands, but I can understand them anyway.
“Can I hold you?”
He thinks about it for a beat, then nods.
I sneak my arm under his neck and sigh when he curls into me and finally uncovers his face. It’s only to press it against my shoulder, but it’s progress.
“I’m s-sorry,” he whines. It’s kind of adorable, but I definitely shouldn’t think he’s adorable right now, right?
I shush him gently and kiss his head.
“Don’t worry about it.” I try to come up with something useful to say, but the only thing I can come up with is the same as when Mads and Mace get hurt and it’s more the scare than any wound that makes them cry. “Let it all out, Sunny. Don’t worry about anything.”
The TV keeps blaring with the sounds of an exciting game two of the Stanley Cup finals. I wish I could turn it off, but the remote is too far away, and I think we can both just keep ignoring it for now.
It’s another ridiculous thing, how different those sounds are to Sunny’s heartbreaking sobs. I guess we’re even now. I sobbed all over him on Monday, and he waited until Thursday.
Thank god I didn’t say that out loud, for fuck’s sake. I can barely handle emotional support for two three-year-olds, I’m not equipped to support a whole adult who’s obviously been through so much.
Enough to cause him anxiety.
I might not know the details, but I don’t need to since Sunny said more than enough last week.
I try not to disturb him, though I doubt he’s paying me enough attention, but I feel it’s necessary to pull my own underwear and shorts all the way up too.
It takes me a couple of minutes, but I get it done while Sunny gradually calms down.
I feel like I can take a full breath again when his breathing evens out, but then he speaks.
“I forgot.”
His voice is absent of any emotions now, completely flat.
I wait for him to say something else, anything else, but he doesn’t.
Should I ask? Should I press? Or just let him be?