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Too much doesn’t exist in my vocab.

I gnaw on my lip, indecisiveness pausing my response. But I’m so giddy and full of disbelief over what just happened, I need to talk about it with someone. My gaze flicks to Bry sprawled in front of me, his face sweetly relaxed. This close, his freckles are easier to notice.

I do need to pee, and a bath would be nice. Surely, I could quietly talk to Steph, and they wouldn’t hear? I slowly wiggle myself down the bed, stopping to look down at Moshi curled up against Nate’s legs.

“You’re too cute,” I whisper and drop a kiss on his furry, sleepy face, then tiptoe to the bathroom.

After using the toilet, I turn the bath tap on and try to remember what Noah does to make it smell and feel so heavenly. I shrug, pick up a bottle labelled coconut and macadamia, and squeeze some of the liquid under the running water.

I peep into the bedroom again. They’re both still sleeping, so I call Steph.

“Sweets, I have to tell you, I’m really not into edging. You can’t keep a girl in suspense for this long,” she scolds lightly.

I giggle, rolling my eyes. “I had to remove myself from the puppy pile.”

“Such a hardship,” she teases. “You can’t message me and tell me you think you just had a threesome, then nothing else. So, bitch, tell me what happened? Was it a bit of DP? Maybe some DVP?”

“What? No,” I whisper shout, my cheeks flushing so hot I’m grateful no one else can see me. “I mean, I’m still not even sure how it all happened. One moment, I’m glaring at Nate; the next moment, I’m on the bed and Nate’s instructing Bry on what to do.”

“Okay, not the two I’d anticipated working together but still hot. You were happy with it all, though? Not unsure at any point?” she asks. I love her for checking in and not judging me for admitting I just had group sex.

Shitsticks. It still feels crazy to admit it happened. Except I’m fairly sure I just had a threesome.

“No, it was perfect. Nate was his usual bossy self but also checked in with me and made it clear I could stop at any time. I still feel giddy thinking about it,” I admit, stepping in front of the mirror.

The person staring back at me looks so different from the person I stared at several weeks ago. Then, I was completely broken, and a dark part of me had been unsure how to keep existing. I’m probably never going to get back to life the way it was before. I’ve irrevocably changed, and I still have a lot to work through. But I’m finding pockets of happiness, and these are the things that are keeping me going. I need to remember these moments when I’m struggling to breathe.

“I’ll admit; he is growing on me. So, who was where and doing what?” Steph demands, and my reflection in the mirror turns even pinker. The flush travels down my neck and beneath Nate’s large T-shirt.

My hand brushes the colour on my neck, and I smile, remembering the details. “I feel like I’m always telling you about my sex life. Am I crossing a friendship boundary?”

She scoffs. “I can tell you about mine, although it’s not as exciting as yours. When I went over to meet her family the other day, she went down on me in her childhood bedroom. I didn’t even feel awkward about it afterwards. That woman is a wizard with her tongue. It’s almost embarrassing how quickly she can finish me.”

“That’s a lot to unpack, but you met her family? Why didn’t you tell me?! How did it go?” I exclaim, fighting to keep my voice low.

She sighs. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to make it into an even bigger thing. I wasn’t sure if they’d like me, and I didn’t want to have to tell you afterwards that they hated me. But they were actually the sweetest, and apparently, I rewarded that by coming on their daughter’s face in their house.”

Snickering, I turn to check on the tub and see the water’s almost ready. “Well, at least they know their daughter is happy and satisfied.”

“Oh, I definitely made her very happy that night. Now, your turn to spill,” she demands.

I place the phone on the side of the tub and tap it on to loudspeaker.

“Hold on.” I strip, then step into the hot, soapy water. Sadly, it’s not as perfect as Noah’s. The bubbles are almost non-existent but it feels good as I sit and let the water lap around me.

“Um. So, I don’t know. It was honestly amazing. To have them both touching and taking care of me, it made everything more…heightened?”

“Was it them both at the same time, or was Mr Growly just instructing you and Bry?” she enquires.

My toes curl into the smooth surface of the tub, and I smile. Before I can answer, there’s a knock on the bathroom door, and I panic. I try to mute or end the call with Steph, but I knock it off the edge of the tub to the floor.

Through my panicked noises, the door opens, and Noah slips in. “Rosy?”

Water sloshes everywhere, and I fold over the side of the tub, trying to reach the damn phone.

“Noah! Did you get to watch the threesome?” Steph yells.

I screech.