Page 47
ROSY
It’s been another exhausting night. I’m struggling with the knowledge that the guys are all unable to sleep with me waking them up. I need to tell them to sleep in their own rooms. Or perhaps I should go back to my place and stay there.
My body locks tight at the thought. What if he finds me home alone?
“Did you want something else instead?” Bry’s sweet voice pulls me back from my thoughts.
I scrub a hand across my face, a futile attempt to wipe away the exhaustion. “Sorry?”
“For breakfast? You haven’t eaten your toast. I can make you something else,” he offers, reaching out to take my plate.
“No,” I say quickly, latching onto the plate. “The toast is perfect, thank you.”
And it is because he made it. He didn’t just toast the bread. He made the bread and the strawberry jam from scratch.
I take a bite. I don’t want his efforts to go to waste, even if my appetite’s muted this morning.
Swallowing down the mouthful, I ask. “Do you have a lot of orders today?”
“Not too many with it being a Saturday, as they get posted on weekdays. I’ve got some elements I need to prepare and a few bakes for a local cafe,” he says, looking up from his tablet as he drops an apron over his head.
Idle uselessness trickles through me. They’re all doing so much for me, and I’m here changing up their routines. “Is there anything easy I can help with?”
A loud knock on the front door startles me, and I drop the remains of my toast.
“I’ll get it,” Bry assures me. He places a kiss on my temple, then rounds the counter and answers the door.
Bry reappears, and behind him is a familiar face. Tears spring to my eyes.
“Oh, sweets.” Steph’s voice cracks as she opens her arms to me, and I fall into her embrace. My skin crawls immediately, and I fight not to recoil.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. I shouldn’t have stayed at Faye’s. I should’ve—”
“No.” I pull back and wipe her tears, then wipe away my own. “Don’t waste your time feeling guilty for something you had nothing to do with. Everyone keeps doing that.”
“I don’t know what to say. Asking how you are seems like a stupid question.” She sniffles, and I try to internalise my sigh.
Everyone treats me differently now. And I get it, even if I don’t like it.
“Is it okay if we go chat in Nate’s room?” I ask Bry, wringing my hands. I need a moment with Steph. Things are suddenly bubbling up and I need to get them off my chest.
Understanding swims across his features. “Of course. He’ll still be at the gym for a while longer, but I’ll let him know to give you some time when he comes back.”
Steph follows me into Nate’s room, which has sort of become mine. Temporarily, that is.
We perch on the bed, and the silence sits between us until I flop backwards and stare up at the ceiling.
“This doesn’t feel like my life,” I confess.
She drops to lie next to me, and my body wobbles with the bed’s movement. I shuffle to keep a gap between us, the recoil over touch has me needing the space I never did before.
She sniffles again. “Noah updated me on what happened since they saw you Thursday, but he didn’t tell me everything. Just that they managed to get you out. I did try to visit except you were sleeping, and they didn’t want to wake you. They mentioned you haven’t been sleeping well,” Steph says, her voice cracking into a whisper at the end.
All of me wants to forget it all happened, to not think or speak about any of it. But I know it’s not going to happen. I have to stop being afraid of recalling the events and be able to talk about them. Or at least some of it. I stare at the ceiling, trying to gather up the courage to start talking.
“You’re scaring me,” she whispers.
“I can’t stop being scared,” I admit, then take a deep breath and fill her in on some of what happened. Some parts I leave out, others I gloss over. As she clasps my hand and listens to every word, I manage to get through it.
