Page 49
“Okay,” Will said slowly. Those words had come in Itori’s own tongue, more musical sounds than words. “You have three?”
“Approximately,” Itori said. “It is not so strict, but I think this is what you mean.”
He nodded. “So humans have two categories, strictly. And–and in my society, you would be considered a male. I am also male. We wouldn’t be able to be together.”
“To make an offspring?”
Will wasn’t explaining himself right. “No, uh. You talked about bonds and mates before. About the exchange creating an unbreakable bond. Humans have something like that, but we do it with a ceremony called a wedding. We only allow it between a male and a female.”
“You cannot have a bond with another male?” Will thought he sounded confused.
“No. Culturally it’s… not allowed.”
“Why?”
Will wished he had an answer. “It just isn’t,” he said, his voice picking up a sharp edge. “And if you do it, you can get in trouble.”
He felt Itori stiffen. “What kind of trouble?”
Will didn’t know if he had it in him to explain bigotry. “All kinds. I–I’ve never touched another man before. Before you.”
There was a gap of silence. He didn’t know if Itori was understanding what he was saying. Explaining social rules to someone of an entirely different species was not something he’d ever imagined himself trying to do.
Itori’s hands moved to start rubbing up and down Will’s back, caressing his bare skin. His throat constricted with the sweet agony of his care.
“So you are to be alone? Or you would get an allowed bond?”
“I–” Will had thought through this over the years. Of trying to put in the effort to fake it. Going through the motions of dating a woman just to pass.
Except everyone here knew who he was. What he was. It would be near impossible. And if he were more honest, he didn’t have the energy to fake it. Every step down that road would be like walking on glass.
“I’m not attracted to… women,” Will said. “I think I’m just supposed to be alone.”
He’d always sort of known his fate, but saying the words aloud was painful.
“You should not be caged to loneliness,” Itori said. “This is unspeakably cruel.”
Will blinked through the burn of tears at the edge of his eyes. “Yeah, yeah,” he agreed, clearing his throat. “There are places, supposedly, that are better than here though. That would allow me to… be myself, but they’re hard to get to. And it would be hard to leave everything I’ve ever known.” He pressed his eyes shut and took a steadying breath. “But it’s nice, being here with you.” He opened his eyes, meeting Itori’s. “It’s like… getting to live that. When I’m here, I feel like maybe the rules don’t matter. I’m not so alone.”
Itori made a rumbling sound and pulled him in. Will went, nuzzling against his throat.
“I do not want you to be alone,” Itori said. “I wish… I wish there was more I could do for you. That I could free you from this place as you are doing for me.”
Will squeezed Itori tight so he wouldn’t cry.
“Thank you. That means a lot.”
When they parted again, Will tipped his head up and Itori kissed him.
“Let me give you energy,” Will said against his lips. He needed something that wasn’t what they’d just been discussing. A distraction from the ticking clock.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, please. Let me,” Will said, his voice edging into desperation.
“As you wish,” Itori said, and kissed him.
One kiss became two, then a dozen. Will couldn’t seem to stop himself, and Itori wasn’t slowing them down. The water rippled around them, the breeze caressing the back of Will’s hot neck.