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Not in any words!

Had he really gotten over the diagnosis? The avoidance shit he had going around talking about his feelings, was this why? Andrew had done a number on him for sure, but could he really lay all the blame at his door?

“I can hear the wheels turning. What does it mean, not in so many words?” Booker slipped an arm over his shoulders. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. You believe that, right?” He said it so softly, like he was trying to lessen the blow of the question.

“I’m different.” There was no escaping that.

“So is Frey, he can’t have children of his own. Do you judge him for it?” Kodi shook his head vehemently. “What about Popi, Silas, Laken, Jupiter, and Taylin. They can’t shift. Do you judge them? They’re different.” Kodi had never thought about it like that and shook his head more slowly.

“What about Silas’s night blindness? The variance chart of ‘different’ has thousands and thousands of things on it.” Booker gently squeezed his shoulder. “You just sit on a different part of it to other members of this family. You aren’t special.”

Kodi’s chin trembled as Booker wavered in front of him before the first tear slide down his cheek. It was so simplistic, yet the truth of it hit harder than Booker’s fist, which could knock a body on their ass halfway across a room.

“I…” A hiccuped sob stopped the words from coming.

Booker squeezed a little harder, his free hand swiped at the tears. “It’s okay, my greatness knows no bounds.”

“You’re a dick.” Kodi snorted out a laugh at how ridiculous Booker was being, sniffing to hold back the stray tears at Booker giving the time to gather himself by being funny.

“That’s great, too. Ask Frey.”

There was a moment of silence as they stared at each other. “Fuck no,” Kodi hissed, then they both laughed hard enough the bed shook with it. It was cathartic, the release of his worries as real as if someone had put a heavy weight around his neck that made him stoop forward, then lifted it off to reveal the difference.

“When are you going to tell Lennon you’re in love with him?”

That had Kari’s laughter turning into a choking cough. “Who said I was in love with him?”

Booker’s smile twisted Kodi’s guts into painful knots. “This level of misery speaks for itself.”

Kodi stared at Booker and acknowledged the truth he’d purposefully avoided. He glanced at the bedside cabinet where he’d placed what he’d bought for Lennon.

“I’m not sure he is interested,”—he shifted his attention back to Booker—“in what I have to offer.”

“You won’t know unless you ask.”

Kodi had spent Sunday night coming up with how to broach the subject of what was wrong with Lennon. He’d checked his work calendar for meetings and found his morning was free. He hadn’t texted Lennon. He wanted to see his expression when Kodi asked what was going on. Lennon was better at hiding his feelings, but Kodi figured that all the time they had been spending getting to know each other would help.

With all that in mind, Kodi had come in early to go through his emails and give himself free time when Lennon arrived.

Several coffees later, he was alerted to the time when he heard Carol switch on her computer outside his office. He finished replying to an email, hit send, and rose. His palms were sweaty as he walked to the door and poked his head out. “Morning Carol, can you ask Lennon to come to my office, please?”

Carol was pulling files out of her desk and glanced up with a smile. “Morning. Of course, give me a sec.”

He went back to his desk and sat down, reaching under it to grab his work bag and fish out the small box inside. It felt heavy in his hand. It wasn’t, but the weight attached to the meaning was. Booker had sat with him last night for an hour and encouraged him to go for what he wanted.

In the light of day, he wanted to run and hide in one breath and in the next, have Lennon in front of him, to talk to him and give him his gift.

At the tap at the door, he glanced up, keeping hold of the box under his desk, offering a bright smile. “Come in.”

A second later his eyes were narrowing on Carol’s anxious expression. “What’s wrong?” he asked before she could speak.

“He’s not coming into work this morning.”

“What?” Kodi’s pulse leapt hard enough it made his ears ring.

“When he didn’t answer, I rang Hollis to see if he’d seen him. He said that Lennon was out this morning for an appointment,” she explained, staying where she was by the door as if sensing he was readying to lose his shit.

“Appointment.” He grimaced, his mind heading for a cliff edge. “What appointment? He’s not got an interview for another job, has he?” he demanded, the anger snapping his teeth together.