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Beside us, our starters are served, but I make no attempt to move. The waiter places each plate down with practiced quiet, his gaze respectfully lowered before retreating without comment. The scent of butter, herbs, and something rich coils through the air, but I don’t even acknowledge it. My focus remains on Cody’s face, on the tight line of his jaw, on the way his fingers curl against the edge of the chair instead of reaching for me. I won’t move until Cody gives me some sort of sign that we can get through this. That he’s going to continue to be patient with me.

“What are you sorry for, exactly?” Cody asks, and my chest tightens. A tic beats in my jaw, and as much as I want to dodge his probing stare, I hold it. I could just say everything, but that feels like the copout it is.

“I’m sorry for being the cause of your pain,” I pick my words carefully. I don’t want to start another fight, but I also need to fix this rift between us. “I’m sorry for continually making you feel like you’re not enough. I’m sorry for letting you fall in love with me before you knew how life would pan out. If I’d known back then that you’d have to suffer like this,” the breath saws out of me. In a flash of movement, Cody leans forward and clasps my face in his hands.

“Do you regret loving me?”

“Never,” I wrinkle my nose. “I regret hurting you, and knowing it won’t be the last time.” Cody swallows, the bobbing sharp in his throat. We’re dancing around the problem, as we always do. I don’t want to talk about Meg tonight, but it was inevitable. She’s the problem I can’t fix, or refuse to.

“I’m not mad at you,” Cody huffs, his eyes narrowing. “I envy her. She gets to have you in ways I never will.” Licking my lips, I lean into the warmth of his palm, desperate for his heat and his touch.

“We won’t always be under my father’s thumb. I’m graduating this year, and then⁠—”

“And then, what?” He cuts me off. “I have another year of school whilst your father molds you to take over one of his businesses. You’ll be shipped off before I get the chance to even see you again. Face it, Everest. This year is all we’ve got.”

An arrow spears straight through my heart. I’m shaking my head against his hands, blocking out his words. Once my trust fund is released, once I’ve made solid plans, I’ll be sweeping Cody out of the academy and far away from anything and everything my father has ever touched. I just need time. I need a plan before time slips between my fingers.

“I love you,” is all I can say, and I already know it’s not enough. This isn’t some fairytale where we have a happily ever after waiting on the horizon. I don’t have a crystal ball to know what’ll happen in the future. All I have is the love and determination that has to remain concealed in my chest. Sighing, Cody’s head hangs as his hands loosen, thumbs stroking over my cheeks.

“I know you do. That’s what makes it so much harder to walk away.” Sadness fills my eyes, a dull ache rippling through my core. The thought of losing Cody would be enough to buckle my legs if I weren’t around kneeling on the rooftop floor, dust merging with the expensive fabric of my slacks. My father would die at the sight of his precious heir begging on his knees for the boy he loves to forgive him. Maybe I should have recorded it.

For a moment, the only sound is the distant hum of the city, the faint stir of wind through the rooftop greenery, and the muted clink of glass somewhere behind the service doors. Cody’s fingers flex against my face before he withdraws. I follow his hands, rising up on my knees until we’re nose to nose.

“Don’t give up on me, Code. I will find a way for us to be together.” Leaning closer, I press my mouth to the side of his head, just above his temple where his white hair smells faintly of smoke and some kind of rose scented shampoo. There’s a stilted pause before Cody rubs his cheek against mine.

“I’ll stand by you whilst you try. I just hope there’s something left to salvage when you do.” Something raw cracks open inside of me. It’s the best I could have hoped for, but it hurts all the same. I kiss him again, slower this time, lingering there until some of the rigidness leaves his shoulders. My hand covers his, my mouth remains at his temple. Cody exhales like he’s been holding his breath since we arrived. “I don’t want to talk anymore.”

“We should eat,” I nod, beginning to withdraw. Every inch costs me more than I let on, until Cody grips my shirt in his fist. It’s my turn for a flash of confusion to cross my face.

“I’m not hungry for food,” he almost groans, his eyes becoming hooded. Dragging me back towards him, his tongue flicks out to drag along the seam of my mouth. “Tell me you’ve planned ahead enough to book a hotel room.”

The shift in his demeanor and our dynamic brings an instant flush to my cheeks, my lips parting of their own accord. This is Cody all over. Hiding his pain behind lust, burying his emotion behind a wall that not even I can breach.

Still, I slide the black keycard out of my pocket and hold it in the air with two fingers. His mouth curves into a smile, his eyes glazing over as he withdraws emotionally. Anyone else might demand that he stops, that we have this conversation no matter how much the truth hurts, but when it comes to him, I’m weak. I take the instant gratification and deal with the fallout tomorrow.

Behind us, the service door opens, a waiter checking if we’ve finished the food that’s gone untouched on the table. Rising to my full height, I take Cody’s hand and pull him along with me.

“Keep the food warm,” I demand, my voice hoarse and movements wooden. “We’ll be back.” The waiter nods, hiding his expression as we pass.

Arriving back at the elevator, Cody doesn’t wait for us to be concealed this time. He’s on me in a second, hand fisting in my shirt and dragging me close as his mouth crashes against mine, hard enough to knock my spine against the doors. I can barely breathe against the metal and the frantic press of his body, but I’m in no frame of mind to stop him. I want to feel it all, the tremor in his hands, the desperation of his mouth.

We can’t get close enough, and as the doors slide open at my back, it’s Cody’s hold that stops me from falling. He walks me inside, slams me against the closest wall and lets his instincts take over. A hand pushes into my slacks, gripping my cock which pulses in return. He knows the feel of me, how hard I can get for him in an instant as my blood flow redirects south.

Steadying myself with my hands on his waist, I drop my head back against the wall and moan against the cheesy elevator music. He fists me hard, a mix of emotions and desire driving his actions. He wants me breathless, ruined, and too consumed to offer any more half apologies or regrets. So, I let him take what he needs, kissing him back as a clunk of glass knocks the wall beside my hip.

It’s only then I realize he’s holding the champagne bottle by its neck, and I smirk against his neck. Maybe he doesn’t hate everything extortionately expensive and overrated. Maybe there’s hope for me yet.

Chapter Fifteen

The moment I slid into the Lexus and saw Everest’s crisp white shirt, the top button popped at his throat and the collar mirroring the sharp line of his jaw, I knew exactly how tonight would end. How I would make it end.

Everest cleans up incredibly well, but he despises doing so. He’d rather live in baggy shorts and T-shirts, only dressing up for certain occasions. When his father is involved, it’s to falsely impress. When he dresses up for me and me alone, my brain short-circuits and all I want to do is rip the material straight from his body and lick every inch underneath.

Counterproductive? Yes, but we all have our weaknesses. Mine is a blond lacrosse captain with eyes like emeralds and muscles chiseled from stone. Besides, I’ve already had him on his knees. I want my turn.

Hand clasped in mine, Everest drags me through the penthouse suite without taking in any of the décor. They all look the same anyway, floor-to-ceiling windows, marble counters and gold accents. Swigging back too much champagne, I slam the bottle on a coffee table and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. How’s that for all the etiquette classes I’ve been forced to endure?

Passing a huge semi-circle cream sofa, my brows pull together as Everest strides straight for the balcony, tugging me over the threshold into the evening air. The breeze should cool some of the heat licking through my body, but Everest looks back at me with a devastating intensity in his eyes, and suddenly, it’s as if the entire city is on fire.